


CAT-RA: Phantom of Mystic Mountains

by EtherianFrigatebird



Series: The Etherian Cosmos [2]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Catra is She-Ra, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Art, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Evil Glimmer (She-Ra), F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Mutual Pining, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Redemption, Slow Burn, Trans Catra (She-Ra), animatics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:13:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 37,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28675776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EtherianFrigatebird/pseuds/EtherianFrigatebird
Summary: Five years ago, Glimmer, the malevolent ruler of Etheria, was brutally slain right before Catra learned of her own destiny as She-Ra. War has plagued Etheria ever since, and Catra remains haunted by the fact that she was everything her former lover ever needed. Searching for answers, Catra finds herself chasing a phantom at a prophetical location — the birthplace of magic, Mystic Mountain.In the serene, mystifying summits, Catra hopes to find the answers to her inner turmoil. What really happened to her as a child that left her as an orphan? And could it be that after all these years, Glimmer is still alive?A paraquel to my fic, ADORA: Vagabond of the Etherian Cosmos. Rated T for mental health issues, graphic depictions of violence, language, and sexual themes.
Relationships: Catra/Glimmer (She-Ra), Past Glimmer/Adora
Series: The Etherian Cosmos [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2101548
Comments: 41
Kudos: 25





	1. It's Just a Burning Memory

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the longest author's note in the history of AO3.
> 
> Let me start off with this; as I’m writing this, my country is experiencing unrest that has been the result of centuries of oppression. I know it’s hard to take your eyes off the darkest parts of the world around us. Hatred can take control of us, and it’s so easy to hold onto. It’s alright if you want to escape. And I hope this fic can provide that kind of comfort to you. In celebration of this fic, I have donated to the Coalition to Stop Violence Against Native Women. I encourage you to donate as well!
> 
> I’m back with another series! This is a spin-off / paraquel of my fic, [ADORA: Vagabond of the Etherian Cosmos](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22977853/chapters/54931186)! It takes place five years after the end of the Evil!Glimmer chapters and is set in that universe… This is actually roughly the same time Adora finally makes it back to her home dimension in AVEC — meaning this story is a paraquel. AVEC has been enjoyed by non-Glimmadora shippers, and a significant portion of the fic is devoted to Glitra.
> 
> However, if you’re just here for Glitra, I get it — **you will be lost if you have not read AVEC chapters 10 - 13 (it is about a ~40k read). If it’s been awhile since you’ve read these chapters, I highly suggest rereading them. I highly, highly, highly recommend you read the entirety of AVEC, as there are many allusions to it within this fic.** However, because I respect people’s time, here’s a brief recap as well;
> 
> \- Glimmer and Catra were childhood best friends, and eventual lovers.  
> \- Lance and George found Catra when she was a baby, and adopted her (no, Bow’s 17 brothers do not exist in this universe, I’m too tired to deal with that).  
> \- Glimmer witnesses the brutal death of many civilians, leading to a sharp decline in her psyche and her eventual trust in Shadow Weaver.  
> \- Shadow Weaver teaches her dark arts, which Catra doesn’t approve of -- leading to them breaking up.  
> \- Glimmer assassinates Angella, taking her place as queen, and takes control of all the other Kingdoms and their Runestones.  
> \- In battle, Glimmer electrocutes Bow and blows Catra’s arm off.  
> \- Glimmer wipes out the Horde, and uses her newfound power to assist struggling people. Wow, what a queen!  
> \- She has the Sword of Protection, and struggles to find answers as to how to find She-Ra and open the Heart of Etheria.  
> \- A She-Ra of another dimension, Adora, comes into her life. She tells her of Horde Prime and assists her on researching She-Ra, in exchange for Glimmer helping her find a way back to her own universe.  
> \- During this, they have a fling.  
> \- Adora finds out that Glimmer was secretly researching how to gain full control of She-Ra, and force her to open this dimension’s Heart of Etheria.  
> \- This leads to Adora no longer trusting Glimmer, which then leads to a battle between the two. Glimmer is killed in this battle, hiding her body in the trunks of two huge trees.  
> \- Catra touches the Sword of Protection, and she realizes that she is She-Ra. She is greatly hurt by the death of Glimmer, in spite of how bad things got between them.  
> \- Adora teaches Catra everything she knows before eventually fading out of the universe.
> 
> As mentioned, this series rated T for mental health issues, graphic depictions of violence, language, and sexual themes. There will be suicidal ideation, self-worth issues, PTSD, unstable personalities, and anxiety attacks. Also, Catra is a trans woman in this universe, but I will never really explore gender dysphoria or other subjects a trans reader may find triggering. Each chapter will have specific content warnings. Please, tell me if you need specific things tagged, and I will do my best to add them to the chapter’s content warnings!
> 
> CONTENT WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER  
> \- Graphic depictions of violence, in the form of someone breaking their ankle  
> \- Many mentions of death

We may choose to not let our trauma define us, but it will always be there. It will hover over you like an old ghost, hoping you’ll catch a glimpse of it and allow it to haunt your thoughts. That ghost will follow you to the ends of the planet, and even into the realm of your dreams. It’s something that you cannot escape, no matter how hard you try to move on and forget.

Once you’ve fallen in love with someone, once you’ve felt that your souls are intertwined and inseparable — you cannot forget them. How stars seem to appear in the sky when they speak, or how everything feels right when they touch you. Yet, you forget something you never thought you’d be able to let go—

You realize you’ve forgotten what they sound like, and you start to wonder what’s wrong with you.

Moving on is the half of it.

* * *

* * *

Darkness.

True, absolute darkness. The kind that not even a Magicat could see in. No matter where you looked, an endless plain of nothingness met your gaze. Every direction she reached out to, she felt nothing. The only sound Catra could hear was her own panting. She reached behind her, patting her back and figuring out her sword was missing from its holster.

But then, she finally saw a light.

Wearily, she walked closer to the object, getting a better look at it.

It was a small floating orb of sorts, flickering brightly with a kaleidoscope of colors that changed every second. The closer she walked towards it, the more she could feel her fur standing up. Hesitantly, she reached out towards it and surprisingly felt no heat, despite it appearing to be a flame.

As she tried to grab it, her hand merely phased right through it, evident that it had no tangibility. The flickering flames steadied themselves and stayed in place, illuminating her surroundings. Yet, out of the reach of the flame’s light, _something_ was happening.

A grotesque noise filled her ears. It sounded like flesh being torn apart, being consumed by a pack of wild animals. The smell of blood and death filled her nostrils, making her want to vomit. All the senses she was experiencing made her afraid and almost wish not to see what was beyond the darkness.

However, the wisp left her no choice but to see what lied ahead. The wisp split in two, creating a perfect copy of itself that soon levitated forward. And again, it split, and that copy did the same. After gulping back the dryness of her throat, Catra followed the replicating wisps. To her surprise, underneath her bare feet, she could feel something crunching. It was almost like stepping on autumn leaves.

She looked down to see a field of dead flowers before her. Even though Catra had little experience with identifying plants, she could tell they were all the same kind. She bent down, pulling one up with incredible ease from the seemingly bottomless floor. This particular one had caught her attention because it had one surviving, yet shriveled bloom. The flower had five petals; two were purple, and the others were pink.

She had seen this flower before — but where, she wasn’t sure. It felt significant and important somehow, and there had to be a meaning to it.

Suddenly, the flower shriveled in her hand completely as an awful shriek pierced her ears. Whoever screamed, they sounded close — as did the horrible, gross sounds. Catra looked on ahead, seeing the wisps had created a path. At the very end, Catra could see it — something inhuman, inorganic, and downright sickening.

It was a vile compilation of black appendages. Catra wasn’t sure what to call them, as appeared as hands, but were crooked and sharp. Beneath the pile of arms, Catra could see something… or someone.

“Someone, please! Help me!”

Chills ran down every inch of her body, from her scalp to her tail. Her fur rose on her back, as she immediately recognized that voice.

“Glimmer?!”

Catra couldn’t care what lied ahead. Without another thought, she ran through the field of dead flowers, that all but crumbled away in a nonexistent breeze. The closer she came to the pile of appendages, the clearer she could see the familiar woman beneath.

The phantom’s eyes appeared as normal, lacking the confident glow she had during her reign as a powerful queen. Her lips were parted as she desperately breathed in, hoping for a chance to live through this. However, her body was covered head to toe with scratches and tears from the claws digging into her.

Immediately, Catra kneeled to her side, slashing her claws at the hands that attempted to push her away. They retreated, and she viciously released an onslaught of more slashes on the arms. Many retreated, leaving the former queen’s top half exposed and free. Lavender eyes peered up with such shock and relief, quickly tearing up at the sight before her.

“Catra…?” Hope quickly returned to Glimmer’s gaze.

“Glimmer! Don’t worry, I-I’ll get you out of here!” Catra reassured, not fully believing it herself. Hope was diminishing as the cold, dark fingers were crawling back. Catra held onto Glimmer’s forearm, pulling with all her might. However, Glimmer’s pained shriek stopped her, encouraging her to fight off the appendages that continually grabbed onto her.

“Leave her alone!” Catra snarled, baring her teeth and slashing her claws at the demonic hands.

"Stop! It’s getting worse," Glimmer sobbed, "Please, just leave me to die.”

Sure to her word, the claws were boring into Glimmer’s skin. Oddly, the scars on her neck — the scars Catra left — were open and bleeding. Even in Glimmer’s lowest moments from when they were younger, Catra could always sense hope somewhere from within her. Yet, the woman that looked up at her was someone new — so stripped of everything she believed in, that she felt she had nothing to live for.

"No! I'm not letting you go ever again, Glimmer!” Catra refused, fighting on by closing her eyes and connecting with her ethereal power. In an instant, her body glowed an angelic, bright yellow.

Glimmer gasped as she witnessed the transformation. Before her was a woman of myth, and the most powerful being to grace Etheria’s land. Despite lacking the sword, her slashes were far more powerful. Such a sight would give hope to any person.

But the woman beneath Catra appeared lifeless. Lavender eyes appeared so despaired and hopeless, even after all the shadowy arms were gone. Catra carefully settled her hands over the petite, shaking body. Her armor was torn up, and her crown was gone.

“Glimmer?” Catra called out, worried by how blank and still she was.

Glimmer replied in a voice so small, Catra could hardly hear her, "You’re… She-Ra?”

"I know, and I'm so, so sorry, Glimmer…” Catra could hardly speak over the dryness of her throat, finding comfort as she cupped Glimmer’s cheek, “I could've been your hero... I'm everything you ever needed…"

Glimmer smiled, yet Catra felt no joy from it, as it felt like a facade only meant to comfort her — a facade doomed to fail miserably. And it was right then that Catra noticed the spark was gone from Glimmer’s eyes.

“You should know by now, Catra… Villains like me never get happy endings,” Glimmer’s lips visibly wobbled, and her voice was hoarse and weak, "Give up on me and move on, just like everyone else did…”

"Glimmer…” Catra could hardly see the returning shadowy claws, as her vision was obstructed by fresh tears.

“I’m sorry for everything I’ve ever done to you and Bow, both…” Glimmer couldn’t hold back her sob anymore, gasping for breath, “Let me go. I deserve this.”

“Stop it!” Catra snarled, gripping fiercely onto her arm, “I know you believe in yourself. You’re going to—”

Suddenly, the arms rushed over Glimmer, spreading over her entire body. It was so many of them all at once, Catra wasn’t sure which to focus on. They were so tightly bound, she was sure slashing at them would pierce Glimmer. Before she could strategize or even react, Glimmer was sinking into the ground.

“Glimmer!” Catra called out, attempting to bounce on the bundle of arms. Yet, as quick as she reached out, the shadowy arms were gone. Mismatched eyes scanned the ground, frantically patting it in hopes of feeling something.

“Glimmer! No, no, no…” Catra growled in frustration, “Come back! Glimmer, please!

“Catra!” A familiar voice cried out, so distant and hazed that she could hardly hear them. Besides, she was too heartbroken and focused on what just happened before her eyes to even care who it was—

“Catra! Wake up!”

That’s right. This was all just a horrible nightmare. With a hearty gasp for air, she opened her eyes. Slowly, she was processing her surroundings. Blurred vision eased, until she could see who was sitting at the edge of her bed.

“Dad…” Catra grumbled as she rubbed her eyes, cursing the violent headache that plagued her.

“You were having that nightmare again, sweetheart,” Lance rubbed her shoulder, scooting closer to her, “You were screaming and everything… Are you alright?”

Catra hated that reoccurring nightmare. It only happened every few months, seemingly at random. But whenever she had it, she could never realize it was a dream and wake herself up. It was morning, judging by the bright light shining through the windows and the sounds of townspeople outside.

“I think I’ll be okay… I need to get going anyway,” Catra reached for her prosthetic on the side of the bed, starting to put it on, “I have to talk to Laverne before I go—”

“Hey,” Lance narrowed his dark eyes, “No, missy, you’re talking about this with me!”

“But dad—”

“Ah! No buts! You’re talking about this! What’s been upsetting you lately?”

Catra sighed, knowing she was defeated, “You know… the whole thing of not having full control of my powers is a bit frustrating… It’s been five years since I got them and…”

Five years of being She-Ra. Even with the plethora of advice Adora had given her, it was hard. If Catra didn’t know any better, it felt that She-Ra was growing weaker. At least Adora had the benefit of having a mentor in the form of First Ones program named Light Hope. However, Adora suggested not to seek out Light Hope, as she had betrayed her. 

But something else happened five years ago — the same day she discovered her destiny...

“And it’s been five years since… since Glimmer died,” Catra could hardly find the words.

All these years later, and it still hurt. Maybe not as quite as drastically as it did when she first came upon the sight of a bloodied Adora. She could never forget what Adora said to her back then…

_“She’s… she’s gone, Catra. I’m… so, so sorry, Catra…”_

All the memories of growing up by Glimmer’s side had rushed through her mind. Still, the guilt of all the times Catra promised to protect Glimmer remained strong and burdening on her heart. Even if they were torn apart by Glimmer’s increasingly poor choices, Catra still wanted the best for her.

But she failed at that.

Lance frowned, holding onto his daughter’s hand. “Honey, I know it can be hard to move on from a death like that, even if it's someone you had a falling out with… My dad— well, your grandfather, he...” Lance sighed, but kept strong, “Wasn’t the best father in the world. But even when he died, I couldn’t eat or sleep for a week. It’s something I still feel sad about to this day.”

“I never knew,” Catra looked up, gripping his hand harder, “I’m sorry, dad.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” Lance’s smiled returned, “I’m at peace now. I have a new life now because of you, Bow, and your dad… I hope that one day, you’ll be able to find your peace…”

Her peace… What would finding peace mean? Could she one day find a relationship? There was an unrealistic fear that if she was to ever open up her heart again, something bad would happen. A terrible breakup, or even a heartbreaking death…

Lance kissed the top of her forehead before bringing her into a tight hug, “You know you’re my favorite daughter, right?!”

“I’m your _only_ daughter,” Catra huffed out, yet her smile quickly faded. Things had been rough the past few years. Glimmer’s reign over Etheria was over, but it didn’t feel like a victory. All the good things she had done had set in place had largely fallen apart in her absence.

No longer was Bright Moon working on helping communities that were still struggling due to the ill-fated Horde’s wrath. Glimmer’s aunt, Castaspella, took control of Bright Moon, as there was no one else to take the crown. Catra couldn’t fathom what it was like for Castaspella — losing the only family she had left… It had sent her into a blind rage, leading her to neglect Bright Moon and prioritize her revenge against Catra and the Rebellion.

Slowly, one by one, the Rebellion was regaining territory — Salinas, Kingdom of Snows, Plumeria… Not only that, but they had rescued Perfuma, Netossa, and Spinerella from Bright Moon’s captivity

Catra wanted it to be over. War was depressing, exhausting, and it felt like it was getting nowhere — despite the favorable results hanging right in her face. She looked at the sword at her bedside. So much destiny and power lied within its blade. Yet, it was almost as if she could feel her connection to the sword growing weaker.

She felt she no longer had a choice, but to make her way back to Whispering Woods. Maybe something or _someone_ there could help her with her connection to She-Ra.

* * *

Half Moon was a great kingdom to live in. The sun had yet to fully rise over the horizon, but villagers were already busy setting up shops and getting ready to go out into the farmlands. Harpies and Magicats of all kinds lived peacefully together in the city. While many cultures were celebrated and many languages were spoken, the architecture remained consistent — colorful adobes, some of which had murals and flower pots.

Suddenly, the loud sound of flapping wings caught her attention. Her only _somewhat_ trusted steed, Drakon, clumsily touched down before her. During her training with Adora, she told Catra about her own steed, a unicorn named Swift Wind. Catra had hoped for a cool dragon of her own when she gifted a python with the powers… Only to find he would turn into a larger snake with a horn and very out of place, colorful wings.

Unlike Swift Wind, he didn’t talk. Fuck, Catra wasn’t sure if he even understood what she was saying half the time. His eyes were blank of thought, and his forked tongue constantly stuck out. It was odd to think about how he would fly away at night. On another note, Catra was thankful he appeared to hunt for himself — what do you even feed a 30-foot winged python? But he would always show up within only a few minutes of Catra waking up. Perhaps there was just the _tiniest_ amount of a connection between them.

“Hey, buddy,” Catra smiled, patting his head and happy to see him smile, “Let’s go see Laverne before we go.”

There was no reaction on his part. Catra sighed, already accepting that she would have to take the long walk to the castle. It was inside the Heart’s Mountain, a mountain that encased the entrance to the Tunnels of Etheria. Years before, Catra traveled to the Heart’s Chamber, disappointed to find that it didn’t react to her presence. Without a Princess connected to all the Runestone, it would remain that way it seemed.

Drakon slithered behind as Catra made her way up the long staircase that was woven into the mountain side. Many buildings were built on the side of the mountain, and most of the harpies in the town lived there. Only slightly past the top of the stairs was an intricate door, guarded by two Harpies.

To her surprise and luck, Queen Laverne was walking out of the main gates. Slate blue-gray fur virtually sparkled in the morning light, and she fiddled with the beads in her black dreadlocks. Golden eyes flickered up at Catra, and the queen heartily smiled at her.

“ _‘Siyo!_ Catra!” Laverne greeted as she patted her arm, “I was just coming to visit you before your journey. Say, do you know anything about Mystic Mountain?”

“Uh… That’s the mountain range between here and Whispering Woods, right?”

Laverne raised an eyebrow, “... And?”

Feeling judged, Catra’s voice was small as she asked, “And what…?”

“Don’t you know? It’s where Harpies and Magicats settled their differences and learned how to harness the power of magic together,” Laverne crossed her arms, her voice near laughter, “Learn about your own history, cuz.”

Catra didn’t appear amused, “Where are you going with this?”

“I wanted you to look into something for me, since it’s on the way and all,” Laverne pulled out a scrolled up, old map from her poncho, pointing to a red dot with the word _“Avion”_ above it, “I need you to go here, to Avion. It’s a Harpy village, but we haven’t heard much from them since the start of the Second War. Communication can be hard with them, because Bow’s, uh, Commpad thingies don’t reach up there. And, if I’m being honest, it might be too cold for little Drakon.”

Drakon appeared blank as Laverne said his name. Catra considered throwing a vague, passive-aggressive comment about how _yeah_ , she _could_ totally put the whole She-Ra thing on hold for this. Why was Laverne sending her on an easy mission like this? However, her body recoiled as she read the elevation of the town — a whopping 3,050 meters.

“Laverne. I really appreciate you and everything, but like… why me?” Catra nervously scratched the back of her ear.

“Mystic Mountain Overpass is notorious for the sheer amount of rogue bandits that ambush people there,” Laverne patted Catra’s shoulder, “I know you can handle that, right?”

Probably not, but still Catra answered, “Um… sure.”

_Sigh. This is going to be a long trip, isn’t it?_

* * *

Lance and George packed her backpack with far too many things — why would she need a sleeping bag _and_ a blanket? Goodbyes like this were always emotional from her dads and brother. While Catra found them doting and overbearing at times, she fully understood — there could always be a trip she would never return from. Besides, her time with Adora taught her to be so grateful for the things she had.

“Hey, don’t forget your Commpad!” Bow truly fit into his role as a doting older brother, spinning her around to unzip her bag, “I know you probably won’t be able to send messages up on the mountains, but call me whenever you get a signal, okay?”

“Don’t worry, dork. I’ll be back before you know it.”

Bow’s support remained mostly stationary. Sometime after the Rebellion moved to Half Moon, Bow started to experience heart issues — no doubt caused by the fact Glimmer once electrocuted his chest. While not severe or really even life-threatening, he experienced arrhythmic episodes from time to time.

Catra often questioned her sense of morality. How could she feel so torn up and depressed, years later, of the death of someone who incapacitated her brother and blew her own arm off? Revisiting that battle with Glimmer often left Catra fuming to that day.

It was comforting to imagine a different world, where Bow accompanying her on this journey. However, even if he was able to, something told her that she needed to do this on her own. After a few more prolonged hugs and goodbyes, she mounted Drakon and took off.

The flight was long, but peaceful and quiet. Slowly, the land below morphed from a dry scrub land full of blooming cacti and scraggly trees, to a vast sagebrush prairie. The grass was a dull teal hue, and seemed to be endless in every direction, with not a tree in sight. It was only when the two finally came across a lake did they stop for the night.

They were up early the next morning, continuing their wordless journey. Again, the land morphed, this time slowly becoming higher in elevation. Soon, sagebrush was replaced with massive fir trees as far as the eye could see. After many hours, the end of their flight was in sight — Mystic Mountain herself.

It was a tall mountain, perhaps the tallest she had ever seen. The entire range was massive, as she wasn’t able to see it end in either direction. There was a path carved in the center of the mountain. Drakon and Catra touched down at the front of it, and soon found a sign that read _“Mystic Mountain Overpass — Tread with Caution, Traveler”_. From the bottom of the mountain, it appeared a lot more intimidating. However, the path didn’t look too steep.

“Hey, Drakon, thanks for the ride,” Catra patted his hand, happy to see him smile, “I don’t know how long this will take, but I’ll wait for you when I get to the other side. It’s going to be way too cold for you up there. Meet me there, okay?”

However, Drakon appeared as blank and non-responsive as usual, only tilting his head like a confused puppy at her words. Before she could repeat her words, Drakon took off, leaving her to face the demon before her alone.

“Alright, Mystic Mountain,” Catra sighed, “Here I come.”

* * *

Her legs felt sore from walking. Although the path was maintained to some extent, it was still steep at times. So, once she came across a small village far up in the mountains, she felt overwhelmed with relief. It was tucked away, in the center of a dense conifer forest. Lanterns lit the snow-covered pathway. The smell of smoking meat made Catra drool, and further tempted her into the village.

The houses were made of logs, and further illuminated the cloudy, starless night with the fires burning within. All the villagers were harpies, but they looked nothing like the harpies she knew. Most were only half her height, with dull blue hair and feathers. Their faces were pale, but all appeared to have black markings around their eyes. The children were mostly yellow, with slate gray hair. They all wore thick coats made of furs, shielding them from their cold environment.

Children laughed and played in the snow. Adults were hard at work, crafting tools, skinning furs, smoking meats, and even a few were fishing at a small lake at the center of the village. Off in the more barren part of the village, Catra could see a plethora of Avionian Caribou being herded, and she could hear the bells on their reigns jingle with each movement. They were strange herd animals, with dark navy fur and bright blue eyes.

She felt stares digging into her fur, but she didn’t feel judged or unwelcomed. Rather, the villagers seemed curious, and that became more evident as a child approached her. Owlish eyes looked up at her, glazed with excitement as she gasped.

“Aren’t you She-Wa…?” The toddler struggled with her words, “I’m asking because, because um, your arm—” She quite rudely grabbed Catra’s prosthetic, “It’s like, yeah.”

Normally, Catra would be vaguely offended by comments about her prosthetic, even from ignorant children. Yet, something the kid held caught her eye — a strange black owl plush. It was odd looking to say the least, with pale blue specks and white beads for eyes.

_A giant astral projection that appeared as an owl. It appeared translucent, but brightly sparkled with an array of colors. It could even speak with her voice._

She clutched her fists, hardly noticing her own claws digging into her palms. Catra hated it — how so many things reminded her of _her_. And she hated how she always had to move on and be strong. One would think it’d only get easier as the years went by, but perhaps she had never been able to deal with what happened.

Maybe if she got to tie their loose ends or at least say goodbye, things would be better. At least, that’s what she fantasized.

Catra could only smile. “Yeah, kid.”

The child’s eyes widened, and she excitedly bounced up and down, “I knew it was you! Your arm looks so cool!” She gripped onto Catra’s prosthetic with a surprising strength, forcing her to follow, “C’mon, my nana will want to meet you!”

* * *

It was a cabin much larger than the others. Catra assumed whoever “nana” was, she was important amongst these people. Many wooden carvings lined the porch, each well crafted and many based off animals. The child knocked at the door, before brazenly barging right through anyway. With contorted lips, Catra hesitantly stepped in behind the child.

“Nana, look! I found She-Wa!”

The house was old, and cluttered with decades of knickknacks. There were many potted plants throughout the cabin, some of which Catra recognized from the sorcerer’s garden back in Half Moon. Various books were scattered throughout, most having worn pages and many bookmarks. Vaguely, the smell of spruce needles and rosemary lingered in her nose.

Near the fireplace, an older Avionian woman stirred a pot. Just like the rest of the villagers, she was incredibly short, only coming up to Catra’s chest. Unlike many of the other villagers, her feathers were graying. Black eyes widened at Catra, as she excitedly pulled away from her fireplace.

“So, it’s true. She-Ra has returned to Etheria…” Without warning, the elderly woman brought her cane up to Catra’s poncho, lifting it and eyeing down her stomach, “You’re quite skinny for She-Ra. Do your parents feed you well?”

“Hey! I’m not _that_ skinny.”

Yet, the harpy merely narrowed her eyes, appearing deep in thought, “Are you sure you are She-Ra? I hardly sense any magic capabilities from you.”

Catra thought about sarcastically thanking her for that comment. Quickly, she decided it was better to be polite, seeing this woman could possibly give her answers.

“Actually, that’s why I’m passing through Mystic Mountain. I’m hoping to refine my magic abilities out in Whispering Woods. I’ve gone to so many sorcerers, and none have been able to help me…” Catra nervously rubbed the back of her neck, “You’re a sorceress, right…?”

“Well, nowadays, I’m just an old harpy… If I had the energy, I would try to teach you what I know.”

Admittedly, Catra was let down by her answer, frowning and drooping her ears. For a moment, the old lady appeared to be deeply considering something.

“Hm… If you’re truly in need of a wise teacher, there is a sorceress that lives up further in the mountains, beyond a treacherous pass known as the Manticore’s Outlook.”

 _Manticores?_ Catra had never come across one in her journey, but she had heard they were fierce, massive creatures that didn’t take kindly to intruders. Such a journey would be risky, so this had to be her worthwhile.

“What makes you think _she_ can teach me?”

“Well, she’s quite a beautiful young lady, and you look like you’re into women,” the harpy nudged Catra with her elbow, laughing as Catra tensed up and blushed at the comment.

But Catra only appeared blank, choosing not to deny it, “What does that have to do with her abilities?”

“I thought you’d be interested in her. She’s rather shy and reclusive, but I think she would let She-Ra into her door. I was thinking being She-Ra doesn’t hurt your chance with the ladies, right?” The harpy cocked an eyebrow, chuckling at her own joke.

“I wish I had time for stuff like that, but— hey, wait,” Catra shook her head, putting her hands on her hips, “Let’s go back to why do you think she can help me?”

“Oh, she’s very powerful. I’ve never seen such talent in sorcery in my life,” The harpy went back to stirring her pot, mixing in a handful of parsley, “A few years back, a few scouts found her passed out on the overpass. The poor woman had been terribly injured and was deathly ill. It took quite some time and a lot of magic, but I was able to revive her. Sometime after her recovery, we were raided by a terrible bunch of bandits…”

Catra watched intently as the elderly harpy’s demeanor changed. It was hard to pick out what she was feeling at that time, but it wasn’t quite sadness or fear — but rather, a strangely vague bit of disapproval.

“Although she was a user of dark arts, she taught the bandits a lesson and saved all of us. I’ve never seen such power in my life.”

Why was her heart so suddenly aflutter? In the deepest part of her core, she felt that something was amiss about the story. From what she knew from Laverne, dark arts weren’t inherently bad — however, a susceptible individual could be morally swayed when using such magic.

Perhaps that’s what happened to Glimmer all those years ago. An individual that felt she had nowhere else to go but the morally gray path set before her… Part of Catra wished dark magic was the explanation, as it was hard to accept the idea that there were no outside influences on her choices.

“After that, I offered her a place to stay amongst us… However, she insisted she wanted to live alone. So, I told her of an abandoned hunting cabin up on the Manticore’s Outlook. Now and then, she comes down to get supplies,” The harpy’s eyes pleaded with Catra, “I can sense a lot of pain in her heart... She wants to be alone, but perhaps that’s not the best for her. I only want good things for her, as she’s given us so much… We can all thank her, and her owl friend too…”

“Her _what_?” Perhaps she was being dramatic, or maybe this wasn’t all just a strange series of coincidences.

“He looks like this! Look, _look_ , Miss She-Ra,” the toddler suddenly reappeared, showing off her plush owl, “He’s very scary looking, but he fights off the manticores and protects us!”

The elderly woman explained it a bit better, “It’s a spirit that lingers around here. It must be her friend, because it protects us, too.”

A bad, awful feeling crept through her body. Not quite the emotion that evoked that something was wrong, but rather, a feeling that things were coming apart. Reality didn’t feel quite tangible anymore as things slowly pieced together in her head.

Her throat felt dry as she stammered, “Um… could you tell me her n-name?”

“My apologies. I promised not to tell anyone her real name. She saved our village, it's the least I can do for her,” The harpy smiled, patting Catra’s arm, “But maybe you can go up there and ask her yourself.”

It was all a strange series of coincidences… A sorceress so powerful, she was able to defend a village from an entire gang of hardened thieves — and she showed up a few years back. Catra could feel her stomach in knots, as it grew hard to breathe.

Yet, there was a pressing question in her mind, one she knew she wouldn’t stop thinking about if she didn’t ask it now, “About how many years ago did she show up?”

The Avionian contorted her lips, appearing deep in thought, “My granddaughter here was only a hatchling when she arrived, so about five years ago, I think.”

Suddenly, a wretched feeling overcame her. First, it came in the form of nausea and vertigo, so intense that she had to sit down on the slab in front of the fireplace. She was still freezing cold, but she could feel sweat trickling through her fur. Right then, the once large, expansive cabin felt small and cramped. Shakily, she took in a deep breath, trying to sort this all out in her head.

The harpy grabbed her shoulder, furrowing her brows at her, “Are you alright, dear?”

“... I… I, um…” Catra choked on sobs that threatened to spill out of her throat, “L-Lost someone that was a lot like her. It sounds strange, but there’s a small possibility she could still be alive… Maybe it’s her — I-I don’t know…”

“Oh, dear…” Nana sat next to her, rubbing her back and easing her through her struggle to breathe, “Many strange things happen on these mountains, so I wouldn’t doubt it. You should make a trek up to the cabin in the morning. Get your rest while its dark, it’s far too dangerous to go alone on that path at night — even for a Magicat such as yourself.”

For a moment, Catra could see something gleam in the harpy’s eyes… It was as if she knew something, or was perhaps lying to Catra about something. She considered questioning the old lady’s information, in an attempt to find holes. For all she knew, this sorceress could be in cahoots with Mystacor.

Yet, nothing seemed malicious whatsoever about the lady. She quietly scooped a bowl from her cauldron, offering out to Catra.

“Take some of this now. It’ll help you tomorrow.”

“Thank you…” Catra paused, lowering her ears, “So uh, is it like a potion or—”

“No. It’s grouse soup.”

“Oh, yeah, um, okay… Thanks,” Catra smiled, “I’m Catra, by the way.”

The harpy smiled back, “You can call me Nana Elli.”

* * *

Catra hardly slept — perhaps due to Nana’s loud snoring, or the fact her granddaughter kept waking her up to ask questions. As cute as the kid was, Catra had to eventually pretend to be sleeping through all her pushing, prodding, and whispers of “Miss She-Wa?”

The sleeping bag was surprisingly comfortable, and lying next to the fireplace certainly helped. Yet, she could still hardly keep her eyes closed. Her heart was thumping and her thoughts were racing, and sleep wouldn’t come easily.

At some point, she reached for her bag. The Commpad was still having trouble gaining a signal, much to her dismay. Instead, she reached for her journal, planning to write about all she learned about Mystic Mountain so far.

However, something fell out of her bag. Upon looking, she could see her shell bead bracelet on the floor. Long ago, she had packed it in her bag, forgetting it was even there between all her journeys. It was a gift her dads gave her sometime ago.

They had always told her that they had found her near the base of a tall tree in Whispering Woods, holding the bead bracelet in her tiny hands. The bracelet looked similar to the beaded jewelry many Half Moon citizens wore.

In her adult life, she questioned the story. Even upon being pressured, they insisted it was real. Maybe they were shielding her from the horrible reality of how she became an orphan, but they should’ve known by then that she was desensitized.

Maybe she would talk to them about that when she came back from her trip.

* * *

Manticore’s Overlook was a far more unstable and treacherous path. It was ragged, and there were many points that Catra had to leap from place to place. At times, she would have to wobble past fallen trees. Despite its remoteness, Catra would occasionally see grouse and hare foraging near the path. Life had a chance this far up in the mountain, apparently.

Snow crunched underneath her feet, becoming deeper the further up the mountain she went, and slowing her pace. She shuddered as a particularly strong blast of wind hit her, nearly knocking her off her feet. The poor conditions were starting to make the fatigued hero question her motives. Why was she even investigating this sorceress? It was likely a strange array of coincidences that simply matched up with Glimmer.

But something about the situation had always bothered her. Not about what was happening right at that moment, but rather, it was a thought that crossed her mind long ago. Adora repeated Glimmer’s own words, _“Magic couldn’t heal it”_.

However, Catra knew that was a lie from the get-go. The sorceress had once annihilated the Magicat’s arm clean off her shoulder. Out of an otherworldly mercy, she chose to heal Catra. Without Glimmer’s magic to callus the wound, Catra would’ve died.

… So why wasn’t Glimmer able to heal a stab wound?

Catra had so many questions for a ghost. Answers she felt she would never receive, but her stubbornness drove her forward. After climbing a particularly difficult incline, it appeared the path was flat and easy for a thankfully long stretch.

Here, fir trees were able to grow easily, so the path was more of a dense forest than anything. It was peaceful and shielded from the elements. Seeing she had been hiking for hours, she saw it fit to take a break there to eat jerky that the villagers had given her.

Yet, after she pulled her bag off her shoulders, something in the dense forest caught her eye. At first, she wondered if the bright white snow had finally gotten to her, causing her to hallucinate things. She strayed close, wondering if what she was seeing was real.

There, in the middle of the woods, she could see a familiar wisp — just like the one from her strange nightmare. Blinking back her fear, she tried to touch the wisp. Just like in the dream, she felt nothing — not even heat as her hand passed through the flame.

She wondered if this meant something. There weren’t any strange, spiritual stirrings in her chest, but she felt like this wisp was important. However, it just floated in place, not reacting to her presence. As she found herself so intrigued with the orb, she had hardly noticed the flush of the surrounding animals. Hares dove into the snow, while grouse were quick to take off.

Instantaneously, the orb imploded and faded from the air, and she knew something was wrong. After a quick draw of her sword, she looked around the dense forest, eagerly expecting an animal to leap out at her. Minutes passed as she looked back and forth, her ears twitching at the slightest noise. Just as soon as she considered letting her guard down, she heard it — the sound of something massive approaching her… from above.

With a hearty roar, the Magicat glowed a bright yellow and began to morph. Mere seconds after her transformation into the deity, she pivoted around and swung her sword up. It pierced through the arm of a fearsome beast that was attempting to pounce on her from the sky above. It hissed in pain, but showed no signs of giving up. The beast was massive, easily being twice the deity’s size.

It had the face and spots of a leopard, but also many limbs that belonged to different animals. Massive wings like that of a bat’s flapped, helping it stay afloat. Its mane was long and ragged, reaching its crooked back. A scaly, plated tail curled from behind, revealing a stinger like that of a Scorpioni.

It touched down into the snow, letting it fly in every direction. Catra snarled, holding her chest high to show off her new, fearsome size to the creature. They were the same height, but the beast was long and bulky. It stalked around her, appearing to attempt to find a weak spot. With a sudden draw of its tail, it struck her prosthetic arm — thankfully doing no damage.

“Not so smart, huh?” Catra took the opportunity to swipe the creature’s arm. It writhed in pain, and Catra slashed again — this time, at its neck. But then, it flapped its wings, causing a great force of wind to upset Catra’s balance. Snow flew in the air, and the flurries entered her eyes. As she was blinded, she was unable to see the creature drawing its tail once again.

A sudden pain entered her arm, and it was evident a stinger was entering her flesh. Quickly, she thrashed away, holding her hand over the wound. Blinking away the snow, Catra could see the Manticore starting to rush towards her.

“Oh no...”

The manticore swiped a paw against Catra’s torso with all its might, tossing her into the air. In the tussle, she lost her grip on her sword, but that was the least of her worries. Painfully, she was tossed down an incline of sharp, twisted rocks. To her dismay, her ankle was caught between two of the rocks. A horrid crackle filled her ears, yet she failed to process all her pain until she landed on her side into a thicket of evergreen bushes.

“ _Ow_ , shit!” Catra cursed, looking down at her right ankle. Her foot was in a gnarly position, and just looking at it made her sick. “Can I please keep at least _one_ limb?!”

Stars, she really did feel so sick all of a sudden. Despite the frightening situation, she felt so sleepy. She could hear the manticore starting to make its way down the ledge, likely coming to tear her limb from limb. But the venom was starting to settle in, weakening her to the point of her morphing back into her regular self.

Giant paws settled next to her head. Above, the manticore snarled, ready to bite down on her neck and finish the job. A normal soul would find their life flashing before their eyes at this very moment, remembering all their good times and past regrets. Perhaps it was the delirious effects of the venom already kicking in, but Catra had a strange, hopeful feeling that this wasn’t the end.

Sure enough, there was a loud, metallic screech from the sky above. Catra’s vision was hazy, and things were hard to make out, but she was sure what she was seeing what real — a gigantic, spirit-like owl swooping in from behind the Manticore. Its body was dark and translucent, and its eyes and spots glowed white with magical power.

One look at the owl, you would think it wasn’t tangible. However, it wrapped its massive talons around the head of the Manticore, easily pulling it back away from Catra. The Manticore thrashed around, attempting to sting the owl — only to have its stinger easily ripped off by the owl’s sharp beak. The once fearsome beast whimpered like a scared kitten, writhing in pain and attempting to buck the owl off.

However, the owl tore at its wings, easily ripping through the flimsy flesh there. Feeling its onslaught was done, the owl perched in the snow, glaring down the manticore. Submissively, it cowered into the woods, never looking back at its fearsome opponent. It was hard to stay awake through all of it, but Catra found herself more aware as the owl walked towards her.

The last thing she clearly remembered was swearing on her life that the owl’s pure white eyes widened at the sight of her… Seemingly out of shock. No one could ever forget something as peculiar as that.

* * *

For what felt like days, she was stuck in a strange state. Catra wasn’t sure if she was partially awake, or experiencing some kind of sleep paralysis. Whatever the case, she was only somewhat aware of what was happening. In her dazed state, it was hard to process that the owl was taking her away somewhere.

For a while, she was freezing and could feel the breeze against her — what she slowly processed as the owl hauling her into the sky. Just as soon as she processed what was going on, there were new sensations; the feeling of being touched and held, and of warmth like that of a fireplace. The world around her became darker, and it was becoming harder to see.

But then, it felt as if she was placed on a bed. A horrible noise filled her ears, and it took her awhile to realize it was her own groan of pain. Whoever this person was, they were propping her injured ankle up. There was a flash of purple, like that of magic. Suddenly, it was so hard to hold onto her consciousness — far more so than before.

But she was sure she could see a woman with black hair standing over her as she faded away.

* * *

Her slumber was dreamless and heavy, the kind you wake up from and wonder what day of the week it is. Slowly, her vision adjusted to the dark surroundings, meeting with the ceiling and walls made of old, worn spruce logs. What was quite possibly the worst headache of her life plagued her, making her adjustment to the world around her sluggish and uneasy. The light crackle of a fireplace hurt her ears in the hypersensitive state, but she appreciated the warmth it provided.

Quite noticeably, the pain that debilitated her ankle was largely gone now. Out of curiosity, she looked down to see her foot bare and her pant leg pushed up. Bandages were wrapped around it, and it was propped up. It was then she suddenly remembered the figure of a woman she saw before her consciousness faded.

Everything flooded back to her mind in an instant — the manticore, the owl spirit, and being dragged to wherever the hell she was now. She untangled herself from the comforter that covered her body, shooting to swing her legs over the side of the bed, her vision suddenly becoming clear and comprehensible—

Nothing could prepare her for the earth-shattering sight before her. Not the years of an indiscriminate and unnecessary war, nor the heartbreaking betrayal and subsequent loss of a soul she once felt bound to. What lied in her line of sight was a manifestation of her regrets and despair. Without a doubt, what she was seeing was real, tangible… and alive.

“You’re finally awake…”

Catra’s blood ran cold at the sound of her voice. It was weak, raspy, but Catra knew what she was hearing was the real deal. For a moment, she wondered if what she was seeing was a manifestation of the manticore’s venom and her questionable psyche.

Before her, a woman was kneeled next to a crackling fireplace atop a bundle of fur. Nervously, she fiddled with her own hands, refusing to look Catra’s way. Long black hair dangled with her hunched form, hiding some of her flushed face. The shaky rise of her small yet stout frame showed how anxious she felt to be in Catra’s presence.

She looked so different, and so, so defeated. No longer could a single sparkle be found in her hair or eyes. It was as if all her magic and power was gone… As was all her hope.

It all wasn’t just a sick compilation of coincidences set by the universe to break Catra further. All the leads, all of Catra’s hypotheses— they were absolutely real. This was really, genuinely _her_ — Catra was sure of it as soon as she noticed the set of scars on her neck.

Each attempt to breathe on Catra’s part was strained and nearly impossible. It felt that her heart would soon fall apart from how quickly it pulsed. She wished to speak, scream, _cry_ — _fucking, do something_ — yet the lump in her throat prevented her from making a sound.

“It’s been awhile since we last saw each other…” Finally, _finally_ , the phantom of her past looked right at her, revealing the lavender in her eyes, “Right, Catra…?”

The moment felt so vulnerable. It was as if her chest was being ripped open, and scavengers were circling around her, waiting for her moment of weakness. How was she supposed to react to all of this? It was all so overwhelming, so sickening to know she was still alive all this time.

“Is that really you…?” Her name died in Catra’s throat, but she knew she had to push it out. She had to know if it was really her, that this wasn’t just a ghost or some sick, cruel joke. It felt so nauseating on her tongue, so unnatural, that she sure she would expel upon saying her name.

“... Glimmer?!”

Tears welled up in Glimmer’s eyes, and she could only feebly smile.

* * *

Far away in the Kingdom of Bright Moon, without gaining the attention of anyone, sparkles surrounded a particular spot in the gardens. Oval-shaped leaves sprouted from the ground, and two stems rose. In a puff of magic, a Bright Moon Violet bloomed for the first time in five years. The petals were flimsy, appearing that they would fall off at the slightest touch.

Regardless of its sickly state, the single violet still bloomed.


	2. Place in the World Fades Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Just so you know, I’m going to be having a pretty lax update schedule for this fic. I’m going to try every Sunday, but it might end up being every other Sunday that a new chapter gets uploaded. This fic will be on the shorter side, (I am sure it won’t exceed 70,000….….. Knock on wood, huh?) at least when compared to AVEC.
> 
> Huge content warning for this chapter. **PLEASE, PLEASE! Read this content warning! There is a flashback sequence that includes many triggers, including;  
>  \- Near death experience  
> \- Self-Hatred  
> \- Suicidal Ideation  
> \- Injury (stab wound) is described **
> 
> There is also a panic attack of sorts. **I tagged this fic “mental health issues” for a reason.** PLEASE if you have any triggers, tell me! I can even message you on Twitter or Tumblr, and give you a synopsis of these sections if you wish to avoid them.
> 
> Regardless, I hope you enjoy. Thank you for coming along for the ride.

Who knows how long they sat there, simply staring at one another. Multiple times, both motioned their lips to speak, but failed to find any words. So, so many emotions were balled up in Catra’s heart, and she struggled to pick which she felt the strongest connection to.

She was absolutely confounded by it all. Why had Glimmer faked her own death, and why would she ever do such a thing? Why would she leave her own kingdom behind to live in isolation? What happened to the sparkle and color in her hair?

She was seething with anger. All those years, Catra’s guilt for what happened ate her up, tearing at her guts, making it hard to move on… In spite of Catra’s internal turmoil, Glimmer had been alive the whole time. And of course, her longtime grudge against the former queen was quick to pop up in her head. Memories of that fateful battle that left Bow with health issues and Catra with one arm swirled and festered, boiling into something hideous that threatened to bare its fangs.

And yet… she was alleviated of a terrible burden now. To some extent, she was happy to see Glimmer. It was confusing, to say the least.

“I know what you want to say,” Glimmer finally broke the silence, struggling to look at Catra, “‘Where have you been? How could you do something like this?’ Please believe me when I say I have answers, but I know you won’t like them.”

Catra could hardly process her words. She wanted to scream at her for doing something so selfish and shortsighted, but felt too overwhelmed herself to get in an argument.

"I thought you were dead — we all thought you were dead! Adora was convinced that she killed you!”

Upon mentioning Adora, Glimmer’s figure tensed up. An almost inaudible gasp left her lips as she turned to Catra. It was then that Catra could see the anxiety sparkling in her eyes. Figuring she needed to tone it down a notch, she attempted to calm her voice. However, what came out was hoarse and on the edge of tears, “Is this where you've been all these years? I would've come for you if I had known!”

Things were so tense and high-strung at that moment, Glimmer struggled to tell what Catra was feeling. Was she being truthful with what she just said, or was it merely to soften the situation? Glimmer felt scared, more than she had ever been in her entire life. It was like walking on eggshells — one wrong step, and someone would break.

“I’ve… been alone up here for a long time, Catra…” Glimmer sighed, “But that’s not important right now… I should be apologizing to you.”

Catra flinched. For a moment, she considered trying to loop the conversation to how and why she was up her in the first place. Withal, she was interested to see where Glimmer would go.

“There’s nothing I can say or do to make up for what I did to you and Bow...”  _ Something  _ pressed down on Glimmer as she stood up, like an external force telling her that what she was about to do was a horrible idea. The closer she walked towards Catra, the more of her anger she could sense.

Her old friend’s body tensed as she sat down next to her. Glimmer had spent the past few hours rehearsing what she wanted to say over and over, but she still felt absolutely blank. Mismatched eyes appeared as bewildered as herself. For Catra, seeing someone who was once so haughty and confident reduced to a shaking, timid mess was shocking, to say the least.

“Believe me when I say there’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think about the both of you,” Glimmer could feel her lips and hands quiver with her anxiousness. Withal, she found the bravery to reach out and touch Catra’s hand, “Neither of you deserved any of it… I’m sorry… I’m so, so sorry—”

Suddenly, Catra retracted her hand. Glimmer could feel her chest cramp as she looked up, seeing the absolute ire in Catra’s glare.

Words that Catra once spoke to her echoed in her memories;  _ “Stay away, you monster!” _

It was an emotion so familiar, yet she hadn’t seen it in years — a hatred so strong, Glimmer could feel her skin burning.

_ Hatred. It’s… all I deserve. _

“Yeah, you better be,” Venom practically dripped from Catra’s fangs, “There’s a war going on, and it’s all because of  _ you _ . Your aunt has been trying to kill me  _ for years _ ! I-It could’ve been over years ago if you just showed Bright Moon that you’re still alive!”

To her absolute shock, Glimmer looked bewildered. It was impossible that she hadn’t heard about the war, considering its scale and magnitude.

“Catra… I… I didn’t know there was a war,” Glimmer furrowed her brows and covered her chest, finding it hard to breathe, “I’m sor—”

“ _ Sure, _ ” Catra crossed her arms and drooped her ears, “Keep playing that game of yours, I can see right through it.”

Glimmer had expected Catra to be mad at her, but not quite at this level. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, don’t act dumb! I know everything about you,” Catra’s fingers bore into her own arms, and her tail swished around, “You’re intelligent and strategical — how else would you gain the kind of control you had over Etheria? You knew how loyal your followers were, you knew there would be severe consequences!”

“Catra… I know you have no reason to trust me—”

“Oh, I sure don’t.”

Glimmer brushed off the interjection, “But please, believe me. I-I knew there would be an uproar, but I could never foresee a full-out war happening… You’ve had to deal with my own mess for the past few years, and I’m so sorry for—”

“Five years. It’s been five, miserable, awful years, Glimmer!”

Five years? Had it truly been that long? It made perfect sense, but it was hard for Glimmer to accept. However, Glimmer didn’t get the chance to properly process everything before Catra began to speak again.

“Trust me, you have no idea how hard it is to be She-Ra!”

It went quiet. So quiet, all they could hear was each other’s strained breathing and the crackle of the fireplace. Years of Glimmer’s life was devoted to finding answers — how to protect Etheria, how to open the Heart and who was this universe’s She-Ra. Everything — her whole life — it felt like such a waste now.

Betraying Catra, Bow, and most of all, Adora — it was absolutely unnecessary… and that was so much more heartbreaking than anything Catra had said to her.

“You’re… She-Ra…?!” Glimmer’s voice was hushed, as if she was struggling to come to terms with it.

Up until this point, Catra was convinced Glimmer was trying to deceive her. The drastic change in her character seemed so played up. However, her response just then appeared so genuine.

Nearly all her anger immediately drained from her veins, and she suddenly felt like such an asshole. It was reasonable for Catra to be angry with her. Withal, at the end of the day, she was She-Ra — someone who needed to be compassionate and understanding of all Etherians.

Including the woman that almost took her life.

Catra frowned, feeling the remorse roll off her tongue, “You didn’t know?”

Tears were consistently trickling down from her eyes now, threatening to spill until there was nothing left inside her. Glimmer’s chest shakily and quickly rose, and it was clear she was starting to panic.

“No… I… F-Fuck,” Glimmer ran her hand down her face, cupping her quivering lips with her hand, “I feel such an idiot right now… I spent so much of my life searching for She-Ra, a-and you were right in front of me all along…”

Catra could feel her heart break as Glimmer sobbed. It had been years since Catra had seen her like this. Gone was a confident ruler, now replaced only a shell of her former glory. Something had been stripped away from her, leaving her skin bare and bleeding. A normal hero would feel happiness at the sight of their enemy rolling in their own defeat.

Nothing felt satisfying about this. She didn’t see the Divine Siren before her, but rather, her old friend. The one that was broken from the trauma of war, feeling she had no more choices left.

Glimmer wiped her own tears away, “I’m sorry, I-I can’t stop crying I—”

The defeated woman flinched as Catra gently grasped her arm, mindful with her claws. It had been years since someone touched her with such care, so the feeling only drew up more tears. Gone was the ire from Catra’s eyes, replaced with a new emotion — one she once hatred more than anything else — pity.

Again, she was that girl that spent her nights restless, screaming over her own nightmares. It felt pathetic to admit, but she now wanted pity more than anything.

“Hey…” Catra’s comforting almost sounded foreign now, “It’s a lot to handle, I know… Etheria needed me for so long...”

“And I…” Glimmer choked on her own sobs, “I took the sword from you. It’s all my fault, isn’t it? I’m so, so sorry, Catra. I—”

Glimmer gasped as Catra suddenly scooted closer, wrapped her arms and encasing her. The hug was tight, to the point where Glimmer struggled to breathe. However, all that mattered was that she was being touched, being loved, feeling someone for the first time since stars know when. It was so easy for Glimmer to give into her kind touch, gripping the back of her tunic before burying her face in her shoulder.

Glimmer sobbed into Catra’s shoulder, the ear-piercing sounds being muffled by the minimal space between them. It was hard for Catra  _ not  _ to cry with her. All of this was so overwhelming, and hard to comprehend. The woman she once held so much hatred for was still alive, and now crying in her arms.

She appeared so broken, tired, and hopeless. This wasn’t the same woman who blasted her arm off so many years ago. Catra’s very own words haunted her to that day, the ones she screamed at Adora as they fought — _ “I could’ve been everything she ever needed!” _

If Catra had discovered her fate earlier, they could’ve united the Princesses together, and defeated the Horde. Glimmer wouldn’t have felt the need to turn to dark arts, or kill her own mother. For both of them, it was a heartbreaking revelation.

Catra had five years to come to terms with that fact, and it still haunted her. She couldn’t imagine how hurtful it was for Glimmer to learn such a thing...

“I missed you so much, Catra…” Glimmer murmured, her sobs calming for the time being, “I’m glad you’re here…”

Catra could feel words on the edge of her tongue. However, they refused to spill out as Catra deeply thought about it. Had she truly missed her, or had she missed the person she once was?

“I…” Catra found the words a bit unnatural, “I missed you too.”

How was she supposed to comfort her through this? Musing and comforts that it wasn’t her fault were simple lies. All she could offer was her presence, and she figured that was something Glimmer absolutely needed right then — someone’s physical touch, someone’s attention, from anyone.

Yet, a sudden, random thought crossed her mind. Quickly, she pulled away from Glimmer, frantically searching around the cabin. The cabin was cluttered, but that was to be expected from Glimmer — especially seeing she had lived in such a small space the past five years. Shelves were lined with jars, containing root infusions and jams. Crates with potatoes, radishes, and other long-lasting crops were tucked away in the corner.

There was a bookshelf lined with so many books, and Catra was fascinated to see each one had various notes sticking out of the pages. 

However, she didn’t see her sword anywhere. Glimmer appeared confused, but was gaining her composure back.

“Glimmer! My sword! I dropped it when the Manticore attacked me! I have to go—” Catra panicked, attempting to stand up, “Ow, shit!”

Somehow, she had forgotten about her ankle’s condition. Upon applying the slightest pressure, pain flowered through her entire leg. Glimmer quickly grabbed her arms, helping her settle back down.

“You need to rest. The Manticore's venom isn't lethal, but it's best you sleep it off,” Glimmer sniffled, almost void of her own worries as she tended to Catra, “And even with magic, it will take some time for your ankle to heal properly.”

“I can’t just leave my sword out there!” Catra gestured outward, “They don’t make more — trust me, I looked into it.”

_ Strange _ . Adora was able to manifest the sword at will — why wasn’t Catra able to do that? But that moment wasn’t the time for questions.

“I can go look for it. Please, rest.”

Catra felt a wild anxiety crawl through her veins, telling her that she needed to go find the sword. Yet, with a heavy sigh, she managed to find some trust in Glimmer.

“Okay…”

Glimmer got up, starting to put on her boots and dull lavender poncho. The air felt tense and awkward, and Catra had no idea where to look but at her. Glimmer could feel the mismatched eyes staring a hole in her body.

"Hey um…” Catra cleared her throat, “Thanks..."

To think, the last time they interacted, they were sworn enemies. Now, that sort of tension was gone, all but replaced with an almost equally horrible awkwardness. Glimmer turned towards Catra, seeing how stiff she appeared.

“You’re welcome,” Glimmer could only offer a smile.

* * *

Night was approaching, so Glimmer had to hurry. The sorcery staff she held offered the slightest source of light, but thankfully, she knew where she was going. It wasn’t a far walk, but Glimmer was lost in her thoughts.

Things escalated further than she thought they would. However, it seemed that Catra was willing to trust her — at least when it came to finding her sword. Upon revisiting the things Catra said during their fight, Glimmer once again teared up.

Catra was She-Ra. All along, the hero she had been searching for her whole life was right next to her, hand in hand with her. An anxiety so strong crept through Glimmer’s entire body — one that made her feel physically ill. And again, it was heartbreaking to know that after all she did to Adora, to learn none of it was necessary. During the trek through the deep snow, Glimmer found herself revisiting that day.

The day she died.

* * *

Darkness.

True, absolute darkness. The kind where no light filters through. You fear taking a step, as you have no sense of space or direction. You could be in an infinite space, or your exit only lied a short ways away — you would never know.

That’s how her nightmares always started. It was only a retelling of what actually happened back there. That’s right… she had entrapped herself in the roots of those two trees. All the power of Etheria was draining from her, being returned to the planet it belonged to. The smell of soil mixed with the nauseating stench of blood… her own blood.

She almost appreciated the lack of sight, knowing she didn’t have to look at the gaping wound in her own flesh. The entirety of her body was throbbing and sweating, yet she was cold and shivering. If there were any light, she was sure she would be able to see how pale and beaten she was.

However, she could hardly process the pain. Her mind was shattering, falling apart before her very eyes. When she reached to catch the broken shards of her psyche, she was only hurt more. Physically and spiritually, a part of her had been ripped out. Broken, beaten, and savagely left to die.

Every sob exited as an ear-curdling scream. When she attempted to breath, it felt that rocks were entering her lungs. They held her down, scraped at the sides, and told her to stop trying. Life was slipping away more and more each passing moment.

Yet she knew she deserved this — she had accepted that. Adora was only trying to protect herself… Such a pure, loving soul, one that showed nothing but kindness to Glimmer. Even as they fought, she held back. She-Ra could’ve easily defeated her, but she showed mercy.

She could hear something thumping against the roots of the tree, someone screaming — but she couldn’t make out what they were saying. In her wildest imagination, she hoped it was Adora, telling her things would be alright. Perhaps she had heard Glimmer earlier, right before she let herself be engulfed in the roots of the trees—

_ “I’m so sorry, Adora. I love you.” _

What a fool she was to think this wouldn’t end in tragedy, and that someone as loyal and kind as Adora could fall in love with her. Anger boiled over, and Glimmer screamed again — feeling malice towards herself.

Maybe she wanted to just lie there until she died. Let her life end sufferably, like she felt she deserved. Everyone she cared for and loved was hurt by her in the end. Perhaps that’s why she pushed everyone away — because she didn’t deserve it. Worst of all, the only two women that she had ever felt deeply connected with had both tried to end her life.

All because of her own mistakes.

Glimmer could end her own pain. It was a flat-out lie when she told Adora magic wouldn’t be able to fix her wound — it very much so could, even if she wasn’t the best healer. Withal, she hesitated as she hovered her own shaking hand over the wound. After everything, did she deserve life? Or would she simply end up hurting someone like she had hurt Catra and Adora?

However, something compelled her to heal herself. It was a deep puncture wound, and it could take weeks if not months for it to properly heal — even with magic. The flesh contorted back, somewhat taking its original form. Blood stopping flowing, but the pain hardly stopped.

Her heart still felt so heavy. Not once did she ever think this kind of depression could be so incapacitating and all-encompassing, to the point where she felt that she could not move. Compulsively, her thoughts kept looping back to Adora.

Once, her slate blue eyes looked at her with such adoration. But when she drove her sword through the siren, she looked at her with pure rage and malice. Enough to make the earth shattered beneath Glimmer’s reality.

That’s what Glimmer did best — she drove everyone who loved her to insanity, to such an extreme sense of malice and hatred. Catra, her mother, and now, Adora too.

Had she really meant anything to anyone? Or had she been the sole instigator? Her thoughts swirled, struggling to settle on one, neither, or both. Her control of the Runestones had all faded away, exiting her body in a series of colorful ribbons. Yet, one Runestone loyally remained. Deep inside her, she could feel the stirrings of the Moonstone. It refused to leave her cold, fading body.

She wanted to leave. To isolate herself from everyone. Glimmer felt she didn’t deserve anyone. In the fog of her fatigued mind, she thought deeply of somewhere far away, where no one would even think to go looking for her — on the off chance  _ someone  _ believed she was still alive...

Then again, she wasn’t even sure if she would be able to stay alive.

The Northwestern part of Etheria. It was mostly untamed, dry wilderness for hundreds upon thousands of acres. Glimmer could hide there, specifically in the Mystic Mountains. Hardly any people lived around there. It was full of crooks and bandits, akin to the Crimson Wastes or the remnants of the Fright Zone.

It was as if the Moonstone wished to appease her. When she opened her eyes again, it felt much colder than before… So, so much colder. Snow was beneath her bare thighs, and it fell upon her pale body. Hope was all but gone from the queen. Perhaps out here, she’d find isolation she wished for. However, the cold, her heavy heart, and the binding pain in her gut all paralyzed her.

She had no idea how long she was conscious for. Maybe only a few minutes, or perhaps a few hours. Yet, still, the stirrings of magic remained in her body. She grew angry, gritting her teeth and just barely being able to lift her shaking hand to her chest.

Glimmer’s sobs morphed into a frustrated howl. “Leave!”

Her nails dug into her chest, and she could feel the Moonstone’s energy. With all her might, she found control of it.

Yet, something made her stop, just for a fraction of a moment. It was a voice —  _ no _ , two voices, speaking in perfect synchrony — not quite in her head, but not from someone who was near. It was disembodied, and Glimmer couldn’t quite place where it came from. 

_ “Daughter of the Moonstone… It is foolish to do this. You will die without your connection.” _

After she was born, she was hardly able to stay alive. It was only by the power granted by the Moonstone was she able to live.

“I…” Glimmer’s lips wobbled, finding it hard to answer the voice, “I know.”

As the pink ribbon of magic slithered from her cold body, she felt much worse. Unlike the other Runestones, it felt that her heart, her lifeline, had literally been torn from her body.

Immediately, her locks changed from pink and purple to a dusky black and the sparkles in her hair perished. The ribbon of magic appeared reluctant as they flew away, as if it didn’t want to leave her.

Fatigue was heavy on her body, pressing down on every inch of it. It felt miserable, and Glimmer simply wanted it to end. The gentle patter of snowflakes and the breeze through the fir trees around her suddenly became silent. All she could hear now was a white noise.

Suddenly, her exhaustion was fading and her body felt warm. Like, she was being held in a tender embrace, or being covered with a blanket. All she knew was the cold wasn’t bothering her. Her surroundings were becoming even darker, as if a cloud was covering the moon. Despite everything that happening, Glimmer felt… at peace.

Finally, she figured out what she was experiencing... This ethereal, out-of-body peace… This was death. Everything, her whole life, was flashing before her eyes, before burning away… All her heartbreak was gone, as was her fear and ire, but so were her few remaining pieces of happiness.

Right then, she forgot what it felt like to be loved. All the memories of her helping those in need, and restoring Etheria to its former glory — there was no emotion attached to them. Perhaps that’s all she needed to feel true peace… To simply forget everything, to wipe her memory and emotions. That’s all she needed…

It was so close…

_ So close… I… can finally feel peace… I’m… so close… _

A light so blinding flashed before her eyes. Yet, she didn’t cower away from it.

_ … I’m… fading now… _

But then, a voice so distance spoke into the emptiness of her mind…  _ “Angel… Please… You have so much to live for.” _

Glimmer finally could feel  _ something  _ again — the stirrings of an ever aching nostalgia deep in her soul. That voice… It took her a second to realize who it was.

“Dad…?” Glimmer could feel the faintest smile on her lips, “I… I get to see... you again…”

There was a feeling so comforting, Glimmer never wanted it to stop. Fingers so gently and caringly brushed through her hair. Beneath her, she could feel something — someone offering their leg as a pillow. It was so difficult to open her eyes, to see who it was...

Reality came back, hitting her head on with a full, brutal force. Her body felt cold once again, so,  _ so  _ cold… All her emotions came back, all her memories… all her regrets. And again, that feeling that her heart had been torn out and ripped to pieces before her very eyes flooded her chest. The woman before her was the physical manifestation of her mistakes.

“M… Mom…?” Glimmer could feel her voice die in her throat.

It was Angella. Maybe it wasn’t  _ truly  _ her, but Glimmer was too tired to question it. Her body was glowing bright pink, making her appear as an apparition. Tears flooded Glimmer’s eyes, increasing as Angella smiled down at her.

“I’m not going to let you give up that easy,” Angella cooed, “You have your whole life ahead of you… Bright Moon needs its queen, Glimmer.”

Suddenly, the weight of the situation fell upon her, crushing her beneath its wake… She had just expelled her lifeline, the only thing keeping her fucking breathing. Even if she hated being alive, this was a shortsighted action. How foolish and selfish of her to leave her kingdom, her people, and all of Etheria, just like that…

She hated every breath she took — she hated herself. Everything she had ever done felt like a mistake — she felt like a mistake. Why did her parents beg the Moonstone to give her life all those years ago? It was all a waste—

“Let everything out. Everything that ails you, Glimmer. You can cry to me, my dear Glimmer…”

She had messed up.  _ Oh _ , she had  _ so  _ awfully messed up. All of her life, she had made such awful mistakes. And as she looked up into Angella’s caring gaze, she circled on the memory of her worst mistake. Tears flooded her eyes, and sadness colluded her lungs.

A wail, so ear-piercing and equally heartbreaking, exhaled from Glimmer. Her cheek fell upon her mother’s thigh, as she clutched at the fabric of her pants. Each breath she took was congested, shaky, and desperate. Her body was cold and hurting, but nothing could match her heartbreak.

“I’m so, so sorry, mom!” Glimmer’s entire body violently shook as she inhaled, her subsequent exhale sounding wet and miserable, “I messed up! My whole fucking life, I’ve messed up with _ everyone! _ I’m so sorry for what I did to you, mom! I can never forgive myself for it, and I’m so, so sorry, mom! I—”

“ _ Sh… _ ” Angella continued to brush through Glimmer’s dull black hair, “Give yourself a second to breathe.”

Glimmer took her advice, pausing for a moment. Tears and wails still exited her weak body, all until there was hardly anything left inside her. The surrounding cold was getting worse by the minute, and she felt her life would end soon.

“It wasn’t just you… Catra, Bow… Adora... Oh,” Glimmer could feel another scream threatening to tear her lungs apart, “I hurt Adora so bad… and she tried to kill me in return,” Hatred crawled through her veins, forcing her to dig her nails into her arm, “I expelled my connection to the Moonstone… Now, I left behind Bright Moon… I’m going to die, and I-I deserve every moment of this miserable fucking death!”

She thought all her tears were long gone. However, they still spilled, making it hard to even see. In spite of what Glimmer did to Angella, the spirit seemed insistent on comforting her. Wings shielded her from the snow, and her mother scooted closer. A kind hand covered the one of her arm, encouraging her to stop digging her nails there.

“You’re hurting so much, I know… But you can’t give up, Glimmer,” Angella bent down, pressing a kiss on the side of her head, “I won’t let you."

To think, in the final year of Angella’s life, she hadn’t even hugged Glimmer. And a kiss — it had been far longer since something as affectionate as a kiss. Consciousness was growing harder to grasp onto. However, she was sure she wasn’t experiencing death again. It was merely a swift dive into an overwhelming, fatigued state.

“I love you. And my mistake was not telling you that enough.”

“Mom…” Glimmer wasn’t even sure what else she wanted to say. Perhaps it was her begging for mercy, for her mother to help her live… It felt pitiful, but at that moment, she didn’t care. “I… love you, too…”

Who knows how long she was out there in the snow. All she knew was that Angella, despite being a manifestation of something — whether it be the strange magic of the mountains, an external force, or her own crumbling psyche — was able to lift her up.

But she couldn’t remember much after that, besides the distant voices of strangers.

* * *

For what felt like days, possibly weeks after her fade from consciousness, she was stuck in a neutral existence. No nightmares, but no dreams. All she was left with was her memories.

It seemed her thoughts circled around her late mother. The few joyful memories she had before Glimmer took her life. When she was younger, they were both quick to anger. In her adult life, she grew to understand why Angella was the way she was.

She had lost the love of her life. Angella had her happy ending with Micah, and would never experience that again. It was like she gave up at some point. Sure, she kept on living, but Glimmer would rarely see her smile. She had grown to wonder if Angella couldn’t stand being around her, simply because she reminded her so much of Micah.

After having her own heart broken twice by the women she loved, she had grown so much empathy for her mother. Maybe at the time, she felt little regret in having to take her life. However, now, it was starting to sink in.

Her mother was gone, and it was all her fault.

* * *

When consciousness finally came back to her, it was feebly grasped. At some point, she could feel life being brought back into her. Whoever was healing her was using magic, and was well versed with it. The pain was slowly drifting away, and her energy was coming back.

Finally, she was able to fully open her eyes. At first, the world around her was blurry and hard to process. But after a few blinks, she managed to process things. She was in a cabin — a sorceress’ house, no doubt, judging by the plethora of spell books, smudge sticks, and plants with magical properties lying around. It smelt of spruce and burning cedar, enough to bother her nostrils.

Somehow, she found the energy to sit up somewhat. Gone was her breastplate and leg garters, as they were replaced by a loosely fitting tunic. She hiked it up, observing a bandage wrapped around her torso. Around her neck, a golden chain necklace hoisted a small piece of a Runestone. It was teal, and Glimmer could feel its magic radiating within her.

Judging by the dim lights, it was probably nighttime. She wasn’t entirely sure, as a blizzard was raging outside. The wind swirled aggressively against the house, and she found herself grateful for whoever found her. It was warm and comfortable in the cabin, and was easy to slowly give back into her fatigue.

“Are you awake, dear?”

Glimmer gasped at the sound of someone’s voice, very close to her. She had grown so tired, she had lost track of time, so she was surprised to see an elderly harpy standing near the foot of the bed. In her travels across Etheria, she had come across many kinds of harpies — but she was certain she had never seen one quite like her. She had a pale face with distinctive black markings, and worn blue feathers.

The harpy laughed, putting her hand on the edge of the bed, “Oh? Did I scare you? I’m sorry. You must have a lot of questions… as do I.”

Glimmer froze up for a moment. The clothing she wore was a dead giveaway to her identity. Fear settled into her, as she fell into a snowball of thoughts. What if this woman had already somehow contacted Bright Moon — because stars know how long she was out? It could’ve been only hours, or days, or even weeks. Thoughts of having to face Bright Moon festered in her head… having to tell them of her catastrophic defeat, and of how terribly she failed them.

“I’m…” Glimmer struggled to think, “Where am I…?”

“You’re in our little village on Mystic Mountain,” The harpy pulled out a stool, slowly settling back, “Now, not to be rude, but you had quite a peculiar outfit on… Where are you from?”

Panicking, she grasped onto the first thing her mind could think of — the small fishing village her father was born in. “ _ Nisshoku _ . It’s out east, near the coast…”

“Nisshoku?” The harpy appeared deep in thought, “I think I’ve heard of it before. It’s quite far. Why weren’t you wearing warm clothes, young miss?”

“I, um…” She was exhausted, and it was growing difficult to generate a fake backstory, “I had nowhere left to go…”

The elderly woman frowned. Suddenly, Glimmer felt awful, for now she was manipulating this kind woman. Talons, worn from age, settled on Glimmer’s shoulder.

“Well… You can stay here, and I can help you get back up on your feet,” Her smiled returned, “I’m Elli, though everyone here calls me Nana. What’s your name?”

_ Shit _ . She knew this question was coming, yet she never thought of a name for herself. Somehow, her mind looped to a particular flower — one that only grew in Bright Moon, and only bloomed when the queen was in love with another woman…

“V-Violet…” It felt unnatural as it left her mouth. “I’m a wandering sorceress.”

Elli laughed, “I knew I sensed great power in you… Although, it took me some time to figure out you needed part of a Runestone to live.”

Glimmer was shocked. The harpy was clearly beyond talented — she was a master sorceress. Having the ability to sense other’s magic was rare alone, but being able to figure out something so complex was of a new level. Paranoia seeped into every crack, tearing at her skin. There was no doubt in her mind that this woman spent at least sometime in Mystacor, and possibly knew her father — how else would she have heard of a small fishing village thousands of miles away?

“You should rest up, dear Violet,” Elli’s voice brought her out of her mind loop, causing her to wonder how long she had been spacing out, “You’re going to need it.”

So much of her anxiety seeped out. She knew Elli would investigate her more in the future, but she was relieved for the time being.

“Thank you, Nana. You’re so kind. I don’t think I could ever repay you…” That was another lie. She absolutely had the ability to repay her, once she was able to return to Bright Moon.

“Goodnight… Miss Violet.”

Yet, Nana’s reluctance to say Glimmer’s faux name had her worrying again.

* * *

Those memories were melancholy, but they made the walk feel faster. Dusk had hardly settled, and Glimmer was finally at the place where she found Catra. Evidence of the scuffle was already covered up with snow, making Glimmer’s job difficult. Yet, she could feel a strong and familiar magical presence.

Beneath the thick branches of a fir tree, Glimmer could see light protruding from the snow below. She bent down, digging through the snow and finding herself grateful for her thick gloves. Finally, her hand brushed against the holy weapon, and she brought it out.

As strange as it was to say, it was like looking at a ghost. It was covered in knicks and dents, but it still glowed with such power and radiance.

Tears started to form in her eyes. It was like being reunited with her sense of hope that she all but lost so many years ago. Mindful of its blade, she held it close to her and could feel its raw magical energy. There was a mild pulse, but it felt so strong and comforting.

She was still trying to grapple the idea that Catra was She-Ra all along. Not once in her life had she felt like such an idiot, and so completely worthless. It was on par with the day she first came to this mountain, and had made so many horrible mistakes...

Right then, she wished more than anything that Adora had gotten back home safely.

* * *

The sound of the cabin door opening awoke Catra. She felt stupid for sleeping with her prosthetic arm off, as she had no weapon and was defenseless. Still getting to used to the situation, it took Catra a moment to realize it was Glimmer. Catra kept still, keeping her eyes only somewhat open just to observe.

As Glimmer walked closer, Catra shut her eyes, hoping she wouldn’t catch her or wake her up. It was so difficult to talk to her, to know what to say. She felt they both needed a break from each other, to process everything that happened that day.

The sword quietly clanked against the wall as Glimmer settled it there. Catra could sense her lingering, stars knows what she was doing. Lavender eyes were boring into her — she  _ knew  _ it, she could  _ feel  _ them. 

Then, she felt it. The lightest of touches, so gently brushing across her forehead and sweeping her bangs back. So much love could be felt through the touch, enough to make Catra want to tear up. Memories of when they were younger — when they were together — flooded her mind. Not once since had Catra found a woman like her, that could make her feel like her stomach was doing backflips, or that everything was right in the world — just with such a simple touch.

“Goodnight, Catra…” Glimmer whispered so quietly, Catra struggled to hear her.

As soon as Glimmer motioned to turn, Catra blinked out her tears. Fuck, who was she kidding? She had missed Glimmer — the one she once knew. However, she had to remind herself of what Glimmer had become.

A Divine Siren — one capable of bringing anyone to their knees, begging for her attention. Even the hardiest of soldiers cowered in fear at the mere sight of her, knowing they weren’t worthy of her time. A queen so hungry for power, she was willing to deceive the ones she loved most just to get her way. Catra fell asleep, circling on the memories of what Glimmer rose to and left behind.

And now, they were both left with only the ashes of what once was.


	3. Not Even Nostalgia Is As Good As It Used To Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Not much to say here, besides the fact that I'm working on an animated trailer for this fic. I'm about half way done now! There's something to look forward to.
> 
> Content Warning for this chapter:  
> \- Graphic depictions of violence (flashback sequence, with penetrative wounds), also including graphic depictions of blood  
> \- Two separate break downs, relating to Glimmer’s trauma and her PTSD

It was well into the afternoon. Glimmer worried that Catra was gravely ill, but she seemed content as she healthily snored. Trying to take her mind off of things, she busied herself by hunting a hare and preparing it for soup. The pot boiled above the fire, its savory aroma filling the cabin. But even after all that time, Catra was still asleep.

It was fair to assume she never got rest like this, as she likely had a busy and stressful life beyond those mountains. Still, Glimmer lingered on the thought that Catra was She-Ra. There was an old anger somewhere in her broken heart, threatening to spill if provoked. However, she’d do her best to quell it.

Only sometime after Glimmer decided to sew up a small tear in Catra’s poncho, the fated hero awoke. As she did, Glimmer could see her own hands shiver, possibly in a strange mixture of excitement and apprehension. After some shuffling, she could feel Catra staring a hole into her side.

She was just as freaked out as Glimmer by all of this. All this time, Catra genuinely believed that Glimmer was gone for good. Now, the phantom sat before her as a broken reflection of her former self.

“Morning… Or, _erm_ ... _afternoon_ , I should say,” Glimmer felt her body shriveling, “Are, um… you feeling any better?”

Catra blinked, still put off by how strange Glimmer was now. She was growing convinced that her now black brows were stuck in a worried position. Just looking at her spread a contagious anxiety. Still, she forced herself to reassuringly smile.

“Well, my headache is gone, and my ankle feels so much better,” Catra freely moved the once strained ankle.

Glimmer smiled the tiniest of smiles. “Good…”

There was a tense, long pause between the two as they looked at each other. In the bright afternoon light, Catra could see the scars on Glimmer’s neck. She had never truly gotten a good look at them before, as they were usually covered up by her armor when she was queen. Glimmer quickly figured out her line of sight, choosing to flip some of her hair over her shoulder to hide the scars.

Suddenly, Catra felt terrible. Glimmer never stared at her arm like that, and it was fair to offer her that same comfort. Catra considered apologizing, yet the air was so tense, she couldn’t muster the courage.

“I-I’m making our dinner. It won’t be ready for a few hours or so. Y-You need to eat a lot up here, or you’ll lose energy quick,” Glimmer was scrambling for words, “I-I can get you water or something to eat, um, whatever you need.”

In spite of everything, Catra still felt worried about her. Glimmer was quick to notice Catra’s frown.

“What’s wrong?”

“Glimmer… You’re so... different now…” Catra froze, thinking for a moment it wasn’t wise to ask, “... What exactly happened when you fought Adora?”

The question was so sudden in nature, Glimmer’s mind and body failed to find an appropriate way to react to it. Just the mere mention of Adora was enough to shut her down. Memories instantly flooded her mind, thinking of all her time spent with the vagabond…

_“Adora, where were you when I needed you?!”_

_There, Adora had no answer for her. Many times, Adora opened her mouth to speak. Merely, the only way she thought she could answer was to reach out and comfortingly hold the queen. Glimmer blinked, realizing how angry she was coming across. With that, she backed away, sniffling as she once again wiped her tears away._

_“All those years ago… I… I wish I had a hero like you. I didn’t want to become who I am now—” Glimmer blinked away her tears and shook her head, “At least, not in the way that I had to. There are so many things I regret doing, Adora…”_

_“I know. You’re not a monster, Glimmer.”_

_Glimmer gasped at the comment, throwing her gaze to Adora. Slate blue eyes looked at her as if she was the center of the cosmos, like there was nothing else like her out there. Glimmer felt so torn apart, unable to sort of out the many conflicts chipping apart her soul. The many lovers she found herself with over the years never even came close to Adora’s warmheartedness._

To think that someone that once looked at her with all the adoration in the universe had been reduced to her enemy, ready to kill her if she had no other choice… Glimmer could hardly care that her entire body was visibly shaking, and that tears were starting to trickle out.

“I…” Glimmer gulped, struggling to hold onto her control, struggling to keep together her psyche—

_A horrible, vile noise filled her ears as Adora jabbed her sword forward. It took time for Glimmer to realize that it was the sound of her own flesh being contorted under the will of Adora’s sword. Below her was an animal backed into a corner, feeling that it had no choice but to fight back. Panicked eyes glared at Glimmer with all the malice in the world, unrelenting as the sword twisted in place._

_It was absolutely Adora’s intention to kill her that night. In every fiber of her being, Glimmer felt she deserved it._

Had she entered some strange trance? She didn’t remember her chest feeling like it was full of molten iron, weighing her down and making it impossible to breathe. It felt cold — so cold, even though she was right in front of the fire. Sweat trickled down her body, and she felt that she was in danger. From what — she wasn’t sure.

The room was getting smaller around her, threatening to squeeze the life out of her. There was someone talking to her, but she couldn’t hear — it sounded like they were a thousand of miles away. She wanted this pain to end, she wanted out of this—

Suddenly, someone was touching her. She flinched away from the touch at first, before realizing no one wanted to hurt her here — not in the reality before her eyes. They took the poncho out of her lap, wrapping it around her shoulders. 

“Hey,” Catra softly beamed, “You don’t have to tell me unless you want to. Okay?”

Right… It was Catra here with her. Catra was here, finally back in her life. Silently, Glimmer prayed that nothing would get between them ever again. Glimmer shakily clutched onto Catra’s poncho and her teeth chattered, not feeling cold but so incredibly scared _of something._

“Um…” Glimmer was now very aware of the raw shakiness of her voice, “O-Okay… I kinda don’t w-want to talk about it…”

Catra’s ear lowered. It felt _weird_ comforting Glimmer. Not wrong or uncomfortable, but just _weird_. There were still so many things for them to talk about — mainly, the exact thing Glimmer just broke down over.

“I shouldn’t of asked something like that… I, uh… Guess I’m just a little shocked by how different you are now,” That was a lie, Catra was _very_ shocked by it, “It’s just—”

“You still don’t trust me, do you?”

The question felt out of nowhere, and Catra didn’t quite know how to answer it, “W-Why do you say that?”

“If you say yes, I won’t be surprised…” Glimmer sighed, “I made a lot of bad choices, Catra. I wronged you, Bow, all the Princesses… a-and Adora… Even if my intentions were good, I hurt all—”

“Hold on, what?”

Glimmer flinched at Catra’s sudden vexation. She had almost forgotten how much Catra’s emotions fluctuated, and how passionate and headstrong she could be at times. Feeling her aggression, Glimmer sulked away, furrowing her brows as she looked at Catra. Thankfully, she didn’t appear full out angry, rather she seemed bothered.

“Did you just say what you did was _good?_ ” Mismatched eyes narrowed, “You may've done good things for Etheria, but that doesn’t excuse the choices you made.”

Glimmer felt frozen. There were a million things she wished to say, and fuck — she wished she could defend herself — but the risk was too much.

She attempted to smooth things over, “And they were terrible, I know—”

“Oh, they were _really_ terrible, Glimmer. _You_ killed your own mother, and _you_ kidnapped the princesses, and I’m not going to sit here and pretend those things didn’t happen,” Catra was clearly becoming more flustered by the moment.

Now, Glimmer herself was frustrated, and she regretted letting her mood fall upon her tone, “I never asked you to forget what I did or even forgive me Catra.”

Catra found herself agreeing with Glimmer. For a moment, she wondered why she was suddenly feeling so angry with Glimmer again. Catra’s next words died in her throat, coming out as a frustrated sigh. The silence was tense, and both struggled to know what to say.

Yet, Glimmer’s heart throbbed in her chest, fueled by her sheer frustration. Shaking fingers dug into Catra’s poncho, and Glimmer found herself hating the fabric. Catra couldn’t realize what kind of horrible ire she was digging up, and how deep its roots grew in Glimmer.

“If you were me, you’d see I had no other choice… Etheria was divided and amoral at a time it needed to be united and serve justice. The Horde was brutal, and the Princess chose to only serve their own kingdoms instead of all of Etheria!” Glimmer stormed, her voice increasingly shaking, “Innocent people died, and I had no choice but to sit on the sidelines, a-and watch my own people be—”

A sudden squeeze at her arm pulled her back into collective thoughts. It was less comforting, and seemed more of an attempt to grab her attention.

“Stop, Glimmer,” Catra’s brows furrowed, “Don’t start thinking about that—”

Glimmer dug her fingers in Catra’s hand, unraveling the grip from her arm. The poncho fell off her shoulders, and suddenly, an old malice was taking full control over her. All the memories — _the horrible fucking memories_ — the smell of blood, the heart-wrenching screams, and the absolute fear she felt that day… That Force Captain forcing her to watch the slaughter of people in Thaymor was something she couldn’t wipe from her mind, not now, _not ever._

“No! Catra, I could _never_ forget what I saw that day, and you _know_ that! Something like that doesn’t just leave your mind!"

“Glimmer, what you saw was horrible. Anyone with a heart would _never_ be able to forget something like that,” Catra protested, “But you can move on from it — from the Horde, from the war... Etheria is safe now—"

“You’re wrong and you know it! Adora told you about Horde Prime, didn’t she?”

Catra’s eyes widened at the familiar name. It was fair to assume there was no way for him to find Etheria in Despondos, yet he was still a threat out in the unreachable galaxies, looming in Catra’s mind.

“And she told you?!”

Glimmer’s crossed her arms, staring forward into the fireplace. The thought that something like what happened on Etheria was happening on other planets haunted Glimmer. It was a kind of anxiety that kept her awake at night, yet motivated her to try and find a way out of her current situation.

“That’s why she helped me — because she wanted to help me locate Prime and stop him. I bet you haven’t even thought of him since she left!"

Catra was trying her best to be civil, to find an equal ground with the former queen. Withal, she was making things so _unbelievably_ difficult, and the personal jab just added to her frustration.

"What am I supposed to do, Glimmer? I'd love to search for answers, but I've been kind of busy lately dealing with _your war_."

Glimmer snapped towards Catra, glaring at her with all her fierceness and fire. The former queen appeared more provoked than before, with her nails digging into her own arms.

"People and cultures are dying at his hands, and you've turned this situation towards yourself! Some She-Ra you are...” Glimmer’s words stung, more than the manticore venom that reduced Catra to an unconscious, paralyzed state.

"Maybe if you had had come out of hiding, we could've stopped this stupid war and figure out how to reach Horde Prime together!”

"Oh?” Glimmer perked an eyebrow, “So _now_ you're willing to work with me for the best of Etheria, huh? Why couldn’t you be there all those years ago?”

Her entire body was shaking again. That horrible malice that once controlled her was returning in full force. It felt like a disease, eating her from the inside and incapacitating her.

Yet, Glimmer’s rage would all but stop as her very own words haunted her, “Where were you when I needed you?!”

A small gasp escaped Glimmer. Again, she had clawed at her own scars, scrapping off the calluses that never properly healed. Nothing came out of Catra, not a gasp, murmur. Only, she appeared fraught with guilt, more so than ever before in her life.

Suddenly, Glimmer was aware she did something wrong. Here Catra was, literally scarred from Glimmer, yet she was putting their differences aside to help Glimmer. Their argument was Catra’s attempt to do something about their past, to reconcile, and Glimmer had just absolutely fucked it up.

_I’m… not a good person, aren’t I?_

“Glimmer—”

Yet, nothing could stop her. Glimmer shoved Catra’s poncho off her lap, standing up as tears blurred her vision.

Glimmer murmured under her breath, “I have to go—” 

A strong grip at her wrist nearly yanked her back. Glimmer wanted to be brutal, to slap the hand away, but she found the strength to stop herself. Through her blurred vision, it was difficult to tell if Catra was provoked, pleading, disappointed, or some combination of the three.

"Stop!” Catra scolded, “You're not going to push me away again, Glimmer. Let's talk about this—"

"Why? So you can pick apart everything I’ve ever done? So you can tell me to 'move on' again?! Let go of me!" Glimmer jerked her hand away, moving quickly to grab her sorcery staff and shawl. She could hear Catra struggling to get up on her own behind her, pleading with her and cursing beneath her breath — but the words were only distant murmurs to Glimmer.

What was clear was the frustrated growl that sounded from Catra as Glimmer left the cabin.

* * *

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, what did I just fucking do?!_

It was a kind of anger that made it hard to breathe. She was sure a vein was ready to pop on her forehead, and her vision was pure red. The malice she felt was one she hadn’t felt in _years_. It was making her blood boil, and her chest tight — and fuck, did she hate it. She hated how much anger controlled her, how awful it made her feel.

She wanted to do many things. Punch something, cry, scream — _something_ , anything to just temporarily relieve her anger. It was making her skin crawl, and weighing her body down. 

Just the thought of what she did back there made her shrink. The idea that she would try and stand up for herself, after all the horrible things she had done to Catra was awful. Catra had offered the chance to fix things _years ago_ , back in Whispering Woods when they found the sword together… And just like back then, Glimmer shred the opportunity to pieces.

Finally, she was far away from the cabin, far from _her_. Normally, the mountain lake before her would provide some sort of tranquility, yet it offered little solace that day. Anger seethed out of her as she fell to her knees, shrinking her form as she hugged her arms. She screamed so loudly, waterfowl panicked and flew off from the lake before her.

She hated herself and this whole situation. As much as she was happy to have Catra back, she hated it at the same time. It was so hard for her to cope with everything she had learned, and to know how to navigate relationships again after all these years. Everything was far too much for her to handle at that moment, and she could feel that familiar fear taking over her head, controlling her—

_No… I can’t let myself lose it, not again… I need to talk to mom._

She looked down at her sorcery staff, ripping one of the smudge sticks that was tied to it. A weak mystical ember formed in her hand and she lit the stick, placing it into the snow before her. Smoke wafted the aroma of mint into the cold air, cleansing the surrounding area. With a deep breath, she manifest a spell in the air before her.

Upon finishing it, she pushed it to the ground, and it singed through the snow. A faint blue glow proved that it was working. The sun would be setting in a few hours, so she had to hurry. Closing her eyes, she attempted to clear her mind. Anger compelled her to think of her horrible mistake and the awful guilt she felt.

Withal, she continued to meditate, trying to clear her mind and focus. After what felt like forever, all noise around her ceased. There was no gale blowing through the trees, or the light patter of the softly falling snow. Instead, there was an eerie hum, so quiet that Glimmer struggled to hear it.

Finally, she had crossed over into the spirit realm. Upon opening her eyes, she was greeted by a new sight. It was almost exactly like the physical world, but there were many off-putting things about it. The water of the lake before her appeared metallic and dark magenta. The sky above lacked any of Etheria’s moons, or color for that matter, simply being a dull gray. No wind blew through the trees, and there was no snow in the sky or on the ground.

Everything was dull and blurry in the realm, beyond the many flowers that were in bloom. They had a faint glow, and appeared to be the only source of color beyond the strange water. As she stood, she looked at the clearing behind her. Cautiously, she began to walk towards it, but froze in her tracks upon hearing rustling in the dense fir trees.

Out emerged an otherworldly spirit, easily double her height, with an entirely cerulean-blue crystalline body. It wore armor that appeared to be crafted from obsidian, and only had one single eye that faintly glowed bright orange. A tattered, black cape nearly reached the ends of its long, skinny legs.

In the grasp of its crystal claws, it held an obsidian claymore sword that was bigger than Glimmer herself. Despite the absolutely fearsome appearance of the spirit solider, it only passively stood in place, observing Glimmer from afar.

During the daytime in the physical world, the spirits would remain passive, and would at times even act friendly. However, at night, they would become aggressive, attacking those from the physical realm on sight. She learned that the hard way after one night — she remembered a spirit with a sword above her neck, and the next, she was back in the physical world.

There appeared to be no real consequence of a spirit realm death, besides the fact she was incredibly shaken up for many days after. The spirit realm was strange, but she found herself more fascinated with it with every visit.

The spirit remained still as she approached it, only curiously looking down at her. Their apparent height difference was much more intimidating this close up.

“Hello, spirit. Would you take me to Angella?”

The spirit cocked its head, void of emotion. Then again, how could a crystalline being such like itself express emotion with no mouth or eyebrows? Its single pupil enlarged, and it offered out its hand. Reluctantly, Glimmer accepted, gulping as she saw how the spirit’s hand dwarfed her own.

“Thank you.”

It only nodded and started to walk into the thick of the woods. The fear and fascination she felt in this realm almost helped her forget her troubles, especially as it dragged its massive sword behind them. Yet, as the two silently walked hand-in-hand through the hazy, dreamlike world, she couldn’t help but let her thoughts stray back to Catra.

Glimmer had spent so long practicing what she planned to say to Catra. In her head, it sounded decent. Withal, seeing how Catra reacted, it truly wasn’t okay. Not even a day in, and Glimmer felt that she was at her breaking point. Five years of barely interacting with anyone had done this to her, she figured.

And finally, once someone she knew came back into her life, it was arguably one of the worst people to… at least, from this universe. Maybe she wasn’t ready for this — for relationships, again.

The spirit stopped, looking back at Glimmer. She hadn’t noticed she had started crying again. Her breathing eased as the spirit rubbed her back, seeming concerned for her. It plucked an orange poppy from the ground, threading the flower behind her ear.

It was scary to know the being would turn on her when night fell. Yet, something felt comforting knowing the spirit held no grudges against her.

“You’re too kind,” Glimmer smiled, grabbing onto its hand once more as it offered it out.

Long after she once again snowballed into her thoughts, they came across a clearing. No longer were they surrounded by fir trees, but instead with bamboo that towered over them. There, in the center of the clearing, was a wisp. Its embers were a kaleidoscope of colors, being quite beautiful in such a monotone setting.

A vibrant smile crossed her lips, as she ran towards the wisp. In an instant, wings of fire spread from the flame, before the whole thing twirled in place. As Glimmer approached it, the flames spread across her, yet she felt no pain. Soon, she could feel arms wrapping around her, holding her tightly.

“Mom…” Glimmer buried herself in Angella’s chest.

Angella joyfully laughed, stroking her fingers through Glimmer’s hair, “It’s been some time since you’ve visited…”

It had only been a week since Glimmer last visited, so Angella’s words were meant as a joke. However, their upbeat attitude quickly melted away as small sobs shivered through Glimmer. Worriedly, Angella pushed Glimmer away somewhat, only enough to look into her tearful eyes.

“What’s wrong, dear…?”

“I messed up, mom! Catra is back in my life, she’s here on Mystic Mountain! I had the chance to fix things, but I fucked it up!” Glimmer buried her shaking mouth in the palm of her hand, “Just like everything else I do!”

“Glimmer, that’s no true and you—”

“I blasted her fucking arm off!” Glimmer hugged her arms and shook her head, “No one could ever forgive something like that! I don’t know what to say or do, mom… I want to be friends with her again, but I feel so…”

Right then, she couldn’t quite pin down what emotion she felt. Whether it be a guilt so binding, it constricted the air from her lungs — or sorrow so overwhelming, it paralyzed her where she stood — or a grief so deeply entwined in her soul, it was hard to accept that it was possible to move on from it.

Rather, she felt a vague disappointment. In herself… and in Catra, too. She was still struggling to process that she was She-Ra all along, and she wasn’t sure if she had even grown to believe it. There was guilt to be placed on the both of them, but Glimmer could feel it all crushing her beneath its fierce wake.

It was infuriating to know that all she did was for naught. That at any point during the war, Catra could’ve connected to She-Ra, and they would’ve easily won without anyone suffering…

Without Glimmer suffering like she did…

And without feeling the awful, selfish need to kill the woman that stood before her, offering her comforting that she felt she did not deserve from anyone.

“I’m… so angry… She was She-Ra all along, mom! She could’ve been all that we needed, all that Etheria needed! All… All… that _I_ needed…”

Shakily, she clutched her chest, trying to ease the malice that boiled there. The worry on her mother’s face failed to comfort her any. Glimmer’s knuckles turned white as she gripped her tunic.

“I… I didn’t need to do any of those horrible things I did. I didn’t need to kill you,” Glimmer failed to fight back the demon that compelled her to cry out, “Who am I kidding?! I hate She-Ra, I hate her _so fucking much!”_

It felt so unfair to Catra to say that. Yet, as they left her lips, it felt that she had a weight lifted from her chest. Sobs echoed through the forest, violently escaping Glimmer’s chest. Angella held onto her arm, bending down closer as she tucked away Glimmer’s bangs.

“Glimmer… Forgiveness isn’t always black and white. We can’t brush over the horrible things you did, but you’re _allowed_ to be angry and feel wronged. Life has been so unfair to you, and you don’t deserve what you went through — no one does…”

For a moment, Glimmer stopped seeing red. She was able to calm herself down, just enough to listen to Angella.

“It’s so easy for people to tell you to move on, but they don’t realize how tightly the past’s grasp is on your heart… I made that mistake with you myself.”

Angella smiled in such a bittersweet way, it broke Glimmer. In a way, it reminded Glimmer of the sorrowful thought that they could’ve had this kind of caring relationship when Angella was alive.

“There’s no good way to explain your past… Rather, you both need to talk about what’s frustrating you right now, here in the present. Be honest with her and yourself. You made a wrong step just now, but that’s alright,” Angella squeezed Glimmer’s arm, her following words more poignant and clear, “Glimmer, dear, this is your chance to finally get off this mountain—”

"I know, I know…” Glimmer frowned, looking down with shame, “But how can I gain her trust?”

“Be honest with her. Tell her the truth of why you’re stuck on Mystic Mountain,” Angella leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead, “You’ve ought to get back to her now. It’ll be nighttime soon.”

“Mom… thank you,” Glimmer was able to form a feeble, quivering smile, quickly hugging her mother once more, “I love you so much. Make sure you tell dad that I love him, too.”

“I love you, too.”

* * *

It was only somewhat of a shock to come back to the sight of Catra stuffing her belongings into her backpack. There was a pause from both of them as Catra looked over at her with a vague sense of disappointment in her mismatched eyes.

“Oh hey, you’re back just in time. I was just about to leave,” Catra’s tone was condescending.

“Catra, you shouldn’t be on your ankle!”

With a stern frown, Catra walked past Glimmer. Each step had a slight limp, but the Magicat’s stubbornness pushed her on.

“Hm, yeah, I don’t care,” Catra reached for her poncho on the coat rack, throwing it over her shoulders and tying the front, “There’s no point of me being here. You’ve shown me you’re not willing to change.”

“You want me to change? Then I won’t hide things from you like I did back then…” Glimmer took a deep breath, holding down the vexation that boiled in her gut, “... I _do_ have something to gain from you."

Catra cocked an eyebrow, haughtily grabbing her chin, “Oh, now we’re getting somewhere! What are you hiding from me now, sweetheart? I know all about your little tricks… Have you figured out some dark magic hocus-pocus trick to control She-Ra?"

“Catra,” Glimmer planned to argue back, but the anger died in her throat. Instead, she awkwardly eased herself, panicking as she tried to transition into what she planned on saying. “I… D-Do you remember the story of my birth?"

Rather quickly, Catra’s coy demeanor changed. “Sorry, but what does that have to do with any of this?!”

“Please…” Glimmer pleaded, “Just tell me if you remember.”

Catra sighed, “You were born too early, and you almost died. But then, the Moonstone gave you life… and…”

There was a mutual anxiety between them now. Catra gulped, as things started piecing together in her head. 

“The only reason you are still alive is because… that power… _oh_ ,” Catra’s ears cowered back, “Fuck, I don’t like where this is going...”

Right then, Glimmer found it difficult to look at Catra in the eyes.

“Immediately after I teleported to Mystic Mountain, I expelled my connection to the Moonstone… If the scouts from the harpy village hadn’t found me, I would’ve died. Their elder helped me connect with the magic here, and that’s the only reason I'm still alive… If I stray too far from the magical areas of the mountain, I'll feel terrible and weak…"

What she said perfectly matched up with the story Elli told her. There was a dark implication from all of this, one that Catra desperately wanted to know—

The hero’s voice croaked as she asked, “You’ll die if you try to leave these mountains, won’t you?”

Catra _hated_ the way Glimmer paused after the question. She hated how nervously she shifted around, and how she wouldn’t look her in the eyes.

“I don’t know what will happen if I leave here, and I’m so afraid…” Glimmer hugged her arms, and finally looked up at Catra, “I know this is so awful and manipulative of me… But you’re my only hope at this point. If you can somehow get me to Bright Moon, I swear, I’ll never bother you again, you’ll never have to see me—”

“Wait, why did you expel your connection in the first place, Glimmer? Did you _want_ to die!?”

She watched any kind of hope die from Glimmer’s eyes. And again, she seemed ashamed to look up, to offer any kind of comfort or answer. However, Catra knew enough. It was tempting to touch her, to grab her arm or shoulder, but Catra found herself hesitating.

“Oh… Glimmer, hey, I’m so sorry—”

“No, you can’t be sorry,” Lavender eyes pleaded with Catra, “I need to be the one apologizing. Blowing up on you earlier — that wasn’t fair at all. Yesterday was so overwhelming on its own… Then when you told me you were She-Ra, it was so hard to take in."

Now, Catra couldn’t look at Glimmer. She had every right to be angry with Glimmer for, well, _everything_ , but that didn’t mean she _had_ to be.

“It doesn’t help I’ve been harsh on you, I know—"

“No, you have every right to be angry with me… as much as you have every right to leave. You’re allowed to go, if you want. I won’t stop you.”

Glimmer considered reaching out and touching her, but quickly remembered how Catra flinched away from her touch the day before. Was it worth giving up her chance to escape this life, just so Catra could feel happier? Honestly, she’d do anything at that point to make up to her old friend.

There was a sudden comforting grip on her shoulder. A light gasp escaped her, and she was shocked by the touch.

“Well, I’m She-Ra now,” Catra smiled, “I can’t turn my back on people that need me, and that includes you. We’re going to figure out a way to get you off this mountain.”

Glimmer wanted to say so much to Catra right then. Ultimately, all that she was able to muster was a simple, “Thank you…”

It was a starting point for both of them.

* * *

Glimmer watched in horror as Catra quickly ate her fourth serving of soup. She was aware of the Magicat’s ferocious appetite, and wasn’t shocked to learned it had continued well into her adult life. There was also the fact that it had been several days since she had eaten a real meal.

Glimmer cleared her throat, trying to look away and failing miserably. The once antagonistic aura between the two had died down into that familiar awkwardness. Catra’s long nails clicked against the table, and the two looked each other briefly.

“I, um—”

“You—”

Both of them blinked, before nervously laughing. Catra smirked, rubbing the back of her head.

“I was just going to say, I would’ve never thought you’d be a good cook.”

 _Holy fuck._ Things felt more awkward than their first date. Wanting to fidget with something, Glimmer began to braid a few strands of her hair.

“You have to get creative up here. There’s a lot of books in those shelves. I’ve read all these them at least three times.”

Catra looked at the bookcase directly behind her. Curiously, she looked through all the books. Most of them were history books, cook books, or field guides, judging by the titles alone. Yet, there was one that caught her attention. Glimmer tensed up as Catra grabbed it, quickly eyeing the cover.

“Even ‘ _Our Sky Has No Limits’_?”

Glimmer nearly choked on her tea, “Wait—”

Catra struggled to keep her laughter back as she flipped through the pages, “Oh, _okay_ . This is _actually_ lesbian harpy erotica. And you have so many bookmarks—"

Glimmer stole the book from Catra’s grasp, “Hey! I like that book. It’s not _just_ erotica.”

Yet, Catra’s laughter died down as she saw another odd book. Simply, the word _“She-Ra”_ was written on the spine. As she took it out, she realized it was a journal of sorts.

“What’s in here…?” Catra showed off the journal, “It’s not personal, right?”

“No. It’s where I wrote down everything I remember, uhm…” Glimmer seemed short of breath as she continued, “ _A-Adora_ telling me.”

“I did the same, if you want to read my notes…” Catra drifted off as she quickly skimmed through the book, her eyes boggling at the pages, “Woah… These are way more detailed than mine…”

She had expected Glimmer to jump at the opportunity. To think that the girl who once tore apart her fathers library in search of _just a slither_ of information of She-Ra was now reduced to indifference and depression upon hearing the name… 

“Hey, um…” Glimmer continued to nervously fidget with her hair, “What happened to Adora? I remember her telling me that she would eventually be ejected out of this dimension…”

Catra settled down the journal on the table, turning back towards Glimmer. She knew in her heart that Adora was still alive somewhere out there in the cosmos, but it still felt like they were speaking about someone who had passed. Judging by how mournful Glimmer appeared, Catra knew she felt the same way.

“I had just connected with She-Ra before I…”

The image of Adora covered in blood — Glimmer’s blood — quickly snapped into her mind. Yet, Catra was able to find relief in merely the mundane sight of Glimmer breathing. It was something so little, but it brought back a sense of a relief Catra had wanted for years.

“Before I, uh, found her in the woods that night... She told me…” Catra shakily breathed in, “You were _‘gone’_. Never in my life had I felt so angry… and I attacked her. I knew it would accomplish nothing, but I just wanted to get my anger out…”

“What did she do? Were you alright?” Glimmer’s brows furrowed.

All these questions had her looking back deeply into her memories. Even after all those years, she failed to forget anything that happened that day...

_“You told me you wanted her dead!” Adora criticized, glaring at Catra from behind her shield, “Why aren’t you happy?!”_

_“I never said that!” Catra snapped as she strongly swung again, blinded by her own tears, “I wanted her more than anything or anyone! But she wouldn’t let me in!”_

_Adora preyed on Catra’s moment of weakness, strongly parrying the consecutive hit with her shield. The force was enough to throw Catra off balance, just for a moment. In the crucial time frame, Adora slammed her elbow into Catra’s chest — successfully knocking her to the ground. Instantaneously, Adora’s shield turned back into a sword, and pointing it at Catra._

_“You didn’t fight hard enough for her! Once you saw her changing, you gave up on her!” Adora snapped, tears forming as she spoke of the fallen queen._

_Catra screwed her eyes shut, fighting back the burning feeling as tears trickled down, “Things with her got so complicated, Adora! You don’t understand!”_

_Stop! You know I fully understand! Did you ever think love was simple, Catra?!”_

_“No! I, I—” Catra was beginning to crack, her mismatched eyes pleading with Adora as she wailed, “I could’ve been everything she ever needed!”_

Lavender eyes lacked any of Glimmer’s once characteristic sparkles, or the powerful glow of fuchsia. Yet, they had a sense of worry and care Catra hadn’t seen from them in years. It was nostalgic in a sense, but it was now bittersweet and not what it used to be. 

“I’ll be honest, she kind of kicked my ass,” Catra nervously laughed, trying to cover up the deep seeded trauma that festered in her very soul, “The first few days, neither of us could be around each other. But then, she started teaching me everything she knew about being She-Ra. After a couple of months, she faded out of the universe… I think about her a lot…”

Catra’s relationship with Adora was complicated and hard to explain. Although she missed her and had forgiven her to an extent, she wished to never see her again.

“You think she’s reached home by now?” Catra asked.

“I hope so…” Glimmer was fraught with a long held-in guilt, “Life was so cruel to Adora, but she was still the most kindhearted person I have ever met… I wish I helped her find a way back home...”

Suddenly, something hit Catra like a goddamn brick. She wanted to slap her forehead, or slam her head against a wall. It was so utterly and completely moronic that, even after all these years, she had _never once_ pieced together that Glimmer and Adora absolutely had a thing. She wasn’t sure why it took until that very moment for her to realize.

For the briefest of moments, Catra considering confirming it with Glimmer. Withal, the sorrow in the defeated woman’s eyes stopped Catra. Wanting to ease the tensity, she chose to change the subject.

“There was one thing Adora could never really teach me…”

Catra was happy to see curiosity spark in Glimmer, “What’s that?”

“Magic. Ugh, I’m _terrible_ at it. All I can really do is transform my sword,” To prove herself, Catra grabbed her sword that lied next to the bed, morphing it into a lasso, “See?”

There was the faintest of smiles on Glimmer’s lips as she leaned into her hand, “Your magical presence _is_ weak… That's why I was so shocked when you told me you were She-Ra.”

Catra’s face went blank, “Thanks.”

“Adora mentioned she had a steed that she accidentally gifted powers. Were you able to do something like that?”

“Oh… Yeah…” Catra reached for her bag, pulling out her own journal. The inside of the cover had various photos, mostly of herself and Bow. Behind all of them, she could see an old, worn picture of her and Glimmer sticking out. They were at Princess Prom, wearing a watching suit and dress.

She remembered how doting her fathers were that day, spending well over an hour deciding what to do with her hair, and how beautiful Glimmer looked that night. Here in this universe, stars existed only in the short locks of her purple hair—

_No. Stop that._

Perhaps the picture wasn’t the best thing for either of them to see at that moment… After making sure to tuck it behind the rest, she showed off all her photos.

“I have a flying python named Drakon,” Catra pointed to a picture of him, “For whatever reason, he can’t talk. Sometimes, I don’t think he even understands me...”

“Oh, but he’s cute,” Glimmer’s smile reached further upon seeing the picture. Yet, she paused afterwards, appearing deep in thought. “Have you considered the idea that your connection to She-Ra is weak? Maybe that’s why you can’t talk to Drakon. I remember Adora saying she didn’t get many of her abilities until much later on.”

Catra perked up at the idea. It had crossed her mind once before, but she never truly considered it. That being said, Catra lacked someone who could guide her like Adora did.

“Well, here I am five years later, and I still haven’t been able to figure out how to manifest my sword at will like her. So, maybe I’m just a terrible She-Ra,” Catra could feel her ear twitch, “I’ve been to so many sorcerers, and no one has been able to teach me—”

Suddenly, Glimmer broke out into a mischievous laughter. It was enough to make Catra feel nervous, as it seemed so genuine.

“What?”

“It’s your lucky day, then,” Glimmer fluttered her lashes and flipped her long black hair, “Remember who the best sorceress in all of Etheria is?”

Well, nothing had changed about Glimmer’s self-hubris. Catra was sure nothing could take that from her. It was enough to force a huffy laugh out of Catra.

“ _You_ are going to teach _me_ how to be She-Ra? You’re not even connected with your Runestone.”

“Now you’re just making up excuses. Can you not _feel_ the raw magical energy of this mountain?”

Judging by how passionate Glimmer sounded, it was something Catra _should_ be able to feel, “Um… no… Not really.”

Briefly, Glimmer’s eyebrows rose, “ _Wow_ , your magic really is atrocious…” There was a strained pause as she finished off her tea, “Okay. I’ve decided I’m teaching you magic.”

“What—”

“You heard me,” Glimmer smirked, “Tomorrow morning, bright and early.”

“I—” Catra was shocked by the offer, “Um… okay. We can do that.”

It was an exhilarating idea to learn about magic, to say the least. Catra could remember intently watching the young sorceress practicing her spells over and over in the gardens of Bright Moon, growling in frustration every time she failed a cast. It was strange to think she had grown into the strongest sorceress in all of Etheria.

And equally so, it was strange to think someone so powerful could fall from grace.

* * *

A ghastly wail woke Catra in the middle of the night — the kind that made her fur stand up on end and feel like something was horrible wrong. Immediately, she shot up, reaching for her prosthetic on the side table. It took her a moment to process Glimmer was missing from her usual spot next to the fireplace. Frantically, Catra looked around...

Immediately, Catra’s heart broke. The former queen hugged her knees in the corner of the room, appearing so lifeless yet so afraid. Even from all away across the room, Catra could see her entire body trembling. She was murmuring something, but she was too quiet to hear. Cautiously Catra got up and carefully tiptoed over.

“Glimmer?” Catra made her voice as gentle as she possibly could. In spite of that, Glimmer jolted as if she had touched fire. Immediately, she shrunk further into the corner, as she was immensely afraid.

“D-Don’t hurt me, _please_ ,” Glimmer was pleading for her life, “I-I _know_ , I deserve it, but p-please don’t do it, please…”

Catra frowned, as she quickly realized Glimmer was afraid of _her_. Lavender eyes refused to leave hers, watching her every movement, as if she would try and do something to her. The panicked heaves of the former queen’s body only further worried Catra.

“Hey… You have nothing to worry about,” Catra offered a smile.

Yet, Glimmer still seemed cautious. Slowly, Catra reached up the nearby coat rack, grabbing her own poncho, before bending down beside Glimmer. The poor woman cowered away as far as possible, her back pressing into the log wall. Catra remained cautious of touching her, feeling it wasn’t a good idea at the moment.

“Nothing’s going to hurt you here. You had a nightmare, and it wasn’t real.”

Glimmer’s owlish stare eased, turning into something more sorrowful. “But… it felt… so real… It… It felt like it was happening again…”

There were so many implications with those words. What she was exactly referring to, Catra wasn’t sure, and the thought of asking was frightening. Glimmer’s form shrunk more, and her stare became distance once again. Back when they were friends, Glimmer would do exactly this — wake up in the middle of the night, screaming and swearing _it_ was all happening again…

Wanting nothing more than to help her through this, Catra held her prosthetic hand out. Glimmer eyed the arm with an odd confusion, as if she had never seen it before. Her curious gaze traveled further up the arm, her brows furrowing at the sight of her mangled, amputated upper arm. Fur didn’t grow anymore at the ends, and Glimmer could hardly make out the stripes there.

“You can touch me,” Catra cooed, “I’m real, Glimmer. I won’t hurt you.”

Glimmer only shook her head, “But… you did hurt me…”

Faintly, Catra gasped, overtaken by a vile sense of vertigo. Mismatched eyes settled upon the scars on Glimmer’s neck. It had taken Catra until that very moment to realize how deeply they ran. Suddenly, it felt that she was surrounded by glass, and that one wrong step could mess things up.

Catra had been so hurt by Glimmer, to the point it was hard to consider her point of view. Yet, an empathy so strong took over her. She understood what it was like to feel betrayed, to feel meaningless in the eyes of someone she once loved more than anything in Etheria.

It could’ve been the fact that she had just woken up, and her mind was teetering with her fatigue… Withal, she felt she finally could understand Glimmer to some extent. And one realization prevailed over any other — the idea that they had both wronged each other. Things weren’t as black and white as Catra thought they were.

“I know, and I’m so sorry for that,” Catra could hear her own voice shake, “But I promise you, that won’t happen again.”

Her throat felt dry as Glimmer shifted somewhat, bouncing her gaze from Catra’s eyes to the hand in front of her. Nervously, Glimmer brought her own hand up. Her fingers visible shook, flinching away somewhat before ultimately settling upon Catra’s palm. The metal of the prosthetic felt cold, but as Catra curled her fingers beneath her own, the touch felt inviting and comforting.

Catra’s heart swelled and pulsed in her chest as she brushed her thumb over Glimmer’s knuckles. The fear in her distance gaze disappeared, and Catra could hear her dryly gulp. It was such a small touch, but something about the moment felt so intimate.

Suddenly, Glimmer was aware of everything again. Aware of where she was and who the Magicat before her was… As that thought entered her mind, she felt she didn’t deserve such a kind touch from Catra. Yet, a selfish part of her kept her hand still, relishing in the feeling of being cared for, of being—

_No_. Silently, Glimmer cursed the fluttering feeling deep in her chest… as did Catra.

“You look cold…” Carefully, Catra slipped her hand away, reaching for the poncho in her lap. She blanketed it over Glimmer’s shoulders, feebly smiling down at her. “Are you feeling better?”

“A little,” Glimmer smiled back, “I… I’m sor—”

“Nope, none of that,” Catra interrupted, settling down next to her and pressing her back against the wall, “Do you want to talk about what you dreamt about?”

Glimmer flinched, before hugging the poncho closer, “... No… Just you being here is enough.”

Catra smiled, “Yeah… I can do that for you.”

* * *

Catra must of been awake for well over an hour with Glimmer. Fighting off her own fatigue was hard, but she was determined to make sure Glimmer fell back asleep. Once she heard her peaceful snores, Catra gently picked her up. She settled her on the small bed, tucking the comforter over her form.

She looked back at the makeshift bed on the floor, where Glimmer normally slept. There, in the mess of furs and blankets, Catra saw a plush owl. It was almost akin to the one Elli’s granddaughter had, with a black body and white beady eyes. Back in Half Moon, owls were considered a sign of bad luck or of misfortune in the future. Yet, looking at her situation right then, Catra wasn’t sure if she personally that.

Finally, she was able to feel some happiness over the fact that Glimmer was still alive. Maybe in the back of her head, she found it a bit childish that the queen secretly slept with it. But in a way, she found it cute—

 _Nope, stop._ She was tired. She was just, _very tired_.

Stealthily, Catra grabbed the plush, before gently easy it between Glimmer’s arms. Just slightly did her arm curl around it, and her lips formed the smallest of smiles. To think, someone with the weight of the world looked so peaceful when she slept.

Catra was enamored with how the light of the fire illuminated across her. A curious stare traveled down, noting how even through the comforter, she could make out the form of her curves. Something felt wrong about looking at her like this, yet she couldn’t stop herself from looking away...

In spite of their horrible past, Catra knew one thing was certain — she still deeply cared about Glimmer, and she desperately needed help. And this time around, Catra wouldn’t give up on her.


	4. Glimpses of Hope in Trying Times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A POMM chapter with no major mental health trigger warnings?! What?! This can't be a POMM chapter!
> 
> Huge thank you to ArtOfKace for doing artwork for this chapter 😊 The piece looks so gorgeous!
> 
> Content Warning
> 
> \- Graphic depictions of violence (brief flashbacks to Glimmer being bullied as a child, violence towards unnamed characters, gouging, penetrative wounds, blood is described quite a bit this chapter)  
> \- Possibly triggering content: very brief, two lines mentioned of a male character being "a creep" to Glimmer.

Catra remembered a time, long ago, back when both her and Glimmer were young. So young in fact, Micah was still alive. He’d often show off magic to her, making fascinating apparitions of birds or project a pseudo constellation of stars. Glimmer was keen on learning magic as well, but she would usually tire after only a few teleports.

For as long as she could remember, Glimmer was always sickly. Susceptible to illness, tiring out after only a few hours of hanging out, and sleeping well past the rise of the sun. In Glimmer’s older years, she seemed to only push these symptoms down, fighting through with her wildfire determination.

Even the wings on her back hardly grew with age, showing no signs of blossoming into a magnificent size akin to Angella’s. Back then, Catra thought the fact she had wings was amazing. She couldn’t care that they weren’t even functional — she was merely jealous that Glimmer had them. 

There was a day that Glimmer told Catra that she would be going to Mystacor for the first time with her dad. The next morning, Catra waited for Glimmer at their usual spot outside Bright Moon, right on the outskirts of Whispering Woods.

Yet, what felt like hours passed, and still no sign of Glimmer. Clouds were covering the sky, and it was dark enough to see the lights on in her room. Feeling upset with Glimmer, Catra decided to riskily scale the tower, making her way through the window into Glimmer’s bedroom.

“Glimmer!” Catra hollered, “I’ve been waiting all—”

She was compelled to stop as she could see her friend curled up on her window seat, covering herself up with a blanket. Catra couldn’t even see her face, but she was certain it was Glimmer. As Catra cautiously approached, she could hear tiny sniffles.

“Glimmer?” Catra whispered, grabbing the blanket and pulling down. She gasped as she saw her friend’s puffy face and wet cheeks. In her chubby arms, Glimmer held onto her favorite plush, a strange owl-like creature she called Kowl. Catra prodded Glimmer’s arm and lowered her ears. “What’s wrong…?”

Glimmer only curled up more, hiding her face again from Catra, “I never want to go back.”

“Why?” Catra as she sat on the bench with her, “Was it scary?”

Glimmer shook her head, but Catra could hardly tell. “T-The big kids… they… pulled my feathers out. It hurt so much, Catra…”

Suddenly, Catra felt angry — angrier than she had ever been in her life before. Blood was rising to her face, and she could sense that she was bright red. She could hardly even realize that her claws were digging into the pillowed seat below.

“That’s horrible, Glimmer! What a bunch of stupid bullies! I’d kill them if I had the chance!” Catra fumed, furious and uncaring of how brutal her words were.

Glimmer slowly emerged from her cocoon of blankets, worriedly looking over at her friend. Normally the sight would ease the Magicat, yet she only found herself only more enraged as she was now able to see the damage.

Glimmer’s tiny wings were caked in blood at some places, especially where some flight feathers had been yanked off. Even with magic, damage this bad would take years to properly heal.

“Catra—”

“I’ll go to Mystacor myself and beat them up! I don’t care how long it takes for me to get there,” Catra motioned to get up, seeing red and not thinking logically.

Where even was Mystacor? How would she get there? She didn’t even know what these bullies looked like. She was so consumed and all-encompassed by the feeling of pure malice, she  _ needed  _ to do something about it all—

Yet, she was stopped by the feeling of Glimmer’s soft hand encasing her own.

“Stay with me, Catra,” Glimmer asked through her sniffles, “I feel safer with you around.”

Catra wanted to debate with her. The only way she could be safe was if all her fears were gone. At the time, Catra didn’t know why, but she felt the need to fight all of Glimmer’s fears for her. It was an idea that transformed and increased as they grew older. 

Catra settled back next to Glimmer, hugging her tightly. Her heart was throbbing, as she was still furious at the bullies she had yet to meet. But it was more important to be there for Glimmer as she fought through this.

“Okay. I’ll stay, Glimmer.”

Catra sat there for what felt like hours, holding onto Glimmer as she cried. At some point, Catra could hear the quiet sound of her snores. Gently, she pushed Glimmer off, and carefully snuck to drawing supplies.

She poured her heart out with the many crayons Glimmer had. It was a crude drawing, consisting of her and Glimmer as small stick figures. But the most notable detail were the wings sprawling from Glimmer’s back. They were wide, and featured a kaleidoscope of mismatched colors.

And still, all these years later, that very drawing could be found in the clutter depths of a drawer in Glimmer’s abandoned room back in Bright Moon.

Kids could be cruel, but not as cruel as the war they would grow up into. If only Catra knew back then the things they would face — a mindless war, with heartbreaking death all around them. And if only she could foresee what Glimmer would become — a siren who let go of the people she loved, yet held onto her unspeakable past.

* * *

It wasn’t exactly the crack of dawn when Catra woke up, like Glimmer promised she would start her teaching. Glimmer was a woman of her word, so it initially worried Catra. That, and she was nowhere to be seen in the small cabin. After dressing properly, Catra ventured outside.

The small cabin lied within a forest, next to a small, frozen-over pond. Many herbs lined the cabin, presumably the lavender that Glimmer kept so much of. Seriously, Catra had grown so used to the overwhelming aroma of lavender, she could hardly process the smoker not too far away. Smokey fumes rose from its chimney, suggesting something was inside.

A small bathhouse was not too far from the cabin. Glimmer really had everything she needed up here, it seemed. Curiously, she was nowhere to be seen on the site. Catra could see somewhat fresh footprints in the snow.

Walking wasn’t too much of a chore now, as her ankle was feeling much better. It would be sometime before she could do drastic and athletic maneuvers, but Glimmer’s magic was helping so much. One wouldn’t expect so much life hustling around the snowy forest. Yet, chickadees loudly chirped, seemingly following Catra. It was far warmer that day than when she first arrived, and the wind wasn’t bitterly cold.

Finally, Catra could make out Glimmer in a quiet grove. To her surprise, she was sitting on the ground, in a spot where no snow had fallen. She wore a different tunic today — a dark fuchsia one, with a dull lavender hood. Various objects dangled from her belt, and her hands were protected from the elements with thick, leather gloves.

“Hey, Glimmer!” Catra flinched at how excitedly that came out. Yet, Glimmer failed to respond. Lips askew, Catra walked in front of her, finally able to see that she was meditating by the looks of it. Now, she could see that she wore what appeared to be a piece of the Moonstone on her forehead, akin to how Angella used to wear the piece.

Nervously, Catra rubbed the back of her neck, finding it rude to interrupt such a thing. So, she sat down in front of her, and patiently waited.

* * *

Glimmer would often drift into her memories when she meditated. Mystic Mountains was a mysterious place, full of strange things and odd people. Nana Elli, the Avionian village elder, was one of them. A complete stranger, yet she actively chose to aid Glimmer after finding her on the brink of death. Out of complete kindness, she nursed her back to health.

It had taken weeks for Glimmer to be able to walk on her own, unassisted. There was often a sharp pain in her midsection, one that had persisted even years later. The Avionians were nice yet blunt at times, not afraid to speak their mind. In the few weeks she had been there, the village tailor had knitted her many tunics. They were all made of the wool of the Avionian reindeer, which varied in color from indigo to lavender.

Then, a hunter made her gloves, made from the leather of hares and lined with their fur. They kept her hands very warm, even when the temperatures in the mountains dipped dangerously low. Without her even asking, everyone in the village had taught her not only how to survive up there, but how to  _ live _ , too.

They taught her about the many herbs that kept their leaves, even in the harshest of winters, that often made for wonderful tea. Not only that, but they told her of a delicious rare salmon in a lake far up in the mountains, one they only caught for the most special occasions.

These people trusted her. Living a lie didn’t feel fair to them or herself. As much as she loved the people, she could feel her time ticking before someone found her out. Late one night, she had started to pack whatever she could, only enough to survive… Where? She wasn’t sure. But the necklace she wore with the small piece of Runestone kept her breathing.

Once at the door, she looked back one more time. Nana slept peacefully in her armchair, absolutely unaware of what was happening. In her arms, her young granddaughter slept just as peacefully. All her time here, she hadn’t seen either of her parents. Glimmer assumed whoever they were, they were gone from the child’s life. That thought alone made her feel that she had failed as a queen in some capacity.

She knew Mystic Mountain was often used as a hideout by high-profile criminals, and the worst of the worst. Yet, this village seemed so secluded, perhaps they were safe from the horrors of the world.

For a moment, she looked at a sorcery staff that sat near the door. It was far too tall for Nana to realistically use, and she knew she had more. Hesitantly, she grabbed it, promising herself she’d make up to these people for stealing from them.

Yet, as she grabbed the doorknob, a certain, loud hum caught her attention. It drowned out the noise of gale beating against the house and nearby trees, and didn’t sound natural whatsoever. Finally, it clicked in her head what it could be, and the resulting realization forced a gasp out of her.

She ran outside, not caring how much noise she made. As she had guessed, a fleet of skiffs were hovering into the village. Many ruffians boarded them, hoisting various weapons with them. In the lead, a four-armed canid man controlled a skiff. He turned back to his group, hollering out, “Take all the metal and gems you can carry!”

One strange, red reptilian with a bulbous throat breathed in, before blasting out a stream of fire. It laid waste upon the trees and houses, and Glimmer could hear the screams of the villagers.

Their screams were so familiar. Hearing someone go through something so horrifying — to have their home and loved ones taken away from them like that… It had dug up an atrocious memory, one that Glimmer refused to relive. Staff in hand, Glimmer jumped over the railing of the cabin, diving into the shrubs nearby. With immense urgency, she gripped tightly onto the staff, and focused with all she could.

She drowned the noises of fire crackling and people screaming as she began to cast a spell. This time, she wouldn’t be a useless bystander or a victim… She’d save these people, and put all her energy into doing so until her dying breath.

As she reopened her eyes, the world around her appeared much smaller. She looked down and saw her spell had worked, as she created an astral projection. It was very similar to the one she used to always use as queen — a towering owl, with bright white glowing eyes and a translucent body. Yet, this projection lacked the prismatic colors of the Moonstone’s magic, instead being akin to that of a dull night-sky.

She took off into the sky, circling the center of the village where most of the ruffians congregated. Because of her dark color and silent wings, she evaded detection. She scouted the lot, trying to pick out who to attack first. The fire-breathing reptilian seemed to be the biggest threat, as he showed no signs of slowing down. 

After locking onto the target, she began her steep stoop downward. Talons outstretched, she snatched the lizard, making sure to pierce the bulbous throat sac. Smoke protruded from his wounds, as he screamed in pain. With all her might, she lifted him up with her. Her powerful wings blew up the surrounding snow, tossing it onto the various ruffians.

After gaining substantial height, she aimed the lizard at a group of bunched up ruffians. With all her might, she tossed him down, and she was sure she heard the crackle of bones as she did. Now, they were all focused on her, shooting arrows and blasting various projectiles at her. However, she was nimble and still hard to spot in the sky, able to evade all their hits.

With another swoop, she tackled through the crowd of criminals. The lot were knocked off their feet, struggling to get up out of the cold snow. An arrow was shot into her shoulder, and she physically felt it. When her power was far greater, she could make the projection intangible — but she didn’t have that luxury now.

She turned towards the shooter, seeing a person pointing another arrow towards her. After narrowly dodging it, she ran towards them, pushing them down with her talon and violently crushing them beneath her grip.

All of a sudden, she could feel her link being broken. Someone was touching her,  _ her actual body _ , she was sure of it. The owl apparition faded as she opened her eyes. A hand grabbed her by the collar, pulling her entire body up with ease. The person before her was the four-armed, gray furred canid man she saw before. Sickly yellow eyes glared into her as she thrashed around.

“Found you,  _ witch _ ,” he nefariously chuckled, pulling her along as he walked back out into the village. She tried to wiggle out of her tunic, but his grip was too tight. He pulled away her sorceress staff, holding it far from her. His crew all surrounded him, cackling and glaring at her.

“I’ve found the one that thought she could play hero…” The wolf-man quietly chuckled, twisting Glimmer closer and leaning in towards her. He was close enough for her to smell his awful breath and feel the vapor from his mouth as he quietly spoke, “Pretty, isn’t she?”

“Better watch your tongue, or I’ll make you choke on it, fucking creep,” Glimmer spat.

“Feisty, too. Where are your manners, missy?”

“Trust me, manners are the least of your worries. You have no idea who you’re messing with,” Glimmer threatened, wanting her venom to sink in.

Yet, the canid didn’t appear the least bit frightened, “Last time someone here tried to stand up to us, they learned their lesson… Too bad those two aren’t around to tell the tale. But go ahead,  _ witch _ , prove yourself.”

With a fierce growl, the small Runestone on her necklace glowed. It was dangerous, seeing as the stone was meant to keep her alive, but she had to do something. In an instant, dark spikes shot from the ground. One pierced through one of the bandit’s four arms, causing him to cry out in pain and let go of her.

Quickly, she grabbed the staff from his hand, and formed a reflecting shield around herself. It was just in time too, as another bandit shot an arrow towards her. Thankfully, it was reflected, and shot back into their shoulder.

With a ferocious roar, the four-armed bandit stomped towards her. Blood seeped out of his wound, yet that didn’t stop him. Festering all the power inside her, she decided to use the darkest of spells she knew. The entirety of her body, including her clothing, turned a shadowy black. As the canid attempt to strike down on her, her body only sank down into the ground, appearing as a shadow.

He cocked his head, confused, but didn’t have much of a chance to figure things out. Tentacle-like appendages emerged from the shadows, ensnaring the bandit’s arms and legs. The more he struggled, the more the shadowy ribbons tightened its grip on him. Yet, his peons had no chance to aid him. Within an instant, his body was pulled into the shadows, disappearing before their very eyes.

As the canid opened his eyes, he was met by pure darkness. His body felt that it was floating, and that there was nothing around him. Suddenly, the ribbons were back, and he was being pulled down somewhere. He tried to fight them again, but only to fail miserably. One particular tentacle reaching towards the arm that had been impaled, digging into the wound. He screamed out in a horrid pain, but it didn’t appeal to the sorceress’ mercy.

Seemingly out of nowhere, the phantom owl appeared, sulking from the darkest corners of this mysterious space. Here, it appeared much larger and threatening. Now, the once proud and strong canid was crying and whimpering and shaking as the tentacles squeezed the life out of him.

“S-Stop! Why are you doing this?!” The canid begged, yellow eyes full of tears.

“We are in your mind. Can’t you tell by how empty it is?” The owl teased, laughing as it stalked even closer. “What you said earlier caught my attention… Let’s do some soul-searching, shall we?”

Suddenly, a projection appeared beside the two. It was a memory from the last time the canid was in the village. A young male Avion lied on his back, many of his feathers burnt off his body. Nearby, another Avion was face-down in the snow, his chest flowered with arrows. The still living Avion shed a tear as he looked over, feeling sorrow for the loss of the love of his entire life.

Yet, the canid showed no mercy. He swung his flail into the Avion’s chest, ending his life. The projection skipped ahead later. They watched Nana mourn the deceased Avion, as she clutched a hatchling to her chest.

“You killed two great men. Two men who loved each other, who had just started a family. A child will grow up without her dads, all because you wanted to steal from their village. How does that make you feel?” The owl spoke without a speck of emotion, making the canid drip with sweat.

He wasn’t sure if he could even answer her, as the tentacles squeezed him so tightly, “I…”

“You don’t have to answer that. I can see what you’re thinking,” The owl’s voice became more boisterous, and she appeared even larger as she stepped up directly in front of him. Her fearsome wings spread wide, showing exactly how massive she was. “You have no remorse. All those vile thoughts you had about me are gone, and have been replaced by true fear, now. You’ve preyed upon the weak your whole life, and you know not of the fear you’ve inflicted upon them. How does it feel to be the victim?”

The canid whimpered, trying to find an answer for her, but knowing she could see through his pathetic lies. Suddenly, the tentacles released their grip around his body. However, to no relief, they wrapped around his limbs, pulling him in every direction. It felt like his body was being torn apart, and the pain made him wail.

“Please, stop!”

“You know that’s not what I wish to hear,” Her body curled over him, her bright white eyes peering into his soul, “One thing you must understand about me is that I feel no empathy for pathetic parasites such as yourself. Your judgement day has arrived, and I’m not afraid to be more brutal than you ever were!”

His limbs were being torn off, cracking from the pressure of it all. Almost like a child, he begged, “We’ll leave! We’ll never come back! I’m sorry, please, let me go! Please, please, please—”

He opened his eyes. Suddenly, they were back in the real world. His goons looked on in fear at Glimmer, as purple flames danced around her. Desperate to escape, he looked over to see all of their skiffs destroyed and lit with the same purple flames. He hugged his legs with his arms, happy to see they were all perfectly fine — minus the one that had been impaled before… whatever just happened.

Glimmer stood over him, appearing as fearsome as the ghostly owl as she snarled, “You’re pathetic, leaching off the hard work of innocent people! If I ever even hear about you or any of your goons even looking at this village again, I swear, I will track you down to the corners of Etheria, and end your life in the most creative way possible. Get out of here before I change my mind.”

Showing the true coward he was, the wolf immediately got up and ran away as fast as he could. Seeing the fear on their heartless leader’s face was enough to send the goons scrambling too. Glimmer glared them down, standing her ground as they all ran off into the cold night. She felt exhausted, but she toughed it out until they were all gone.

“There’s only one sorceress in all of Etheria with power akin to your own… Isn’t that right, Queen Glimmer?”

Glimmer’s eyes widened. After she pivoted around, she could see Nana stepping into the dying purple flames. The elderly woman appeared angry, unaffected by what just happened, and not seeming the least bit grateful.

“How did you—”

“Don’t take me for a fool, young one. Many years ago, I taught potion making in Mystacor, and your father was a student of mine. I knew I recognized your face, dear… You look so much like him…” Nana smiled, but only for a moment, “I heard of his passing sometime before I moved back here… He was a wonderful man, and I can see so much of him in you.”

Glimmer furrowed her brows, pleading with her, “Please, Nana… You can’t tell anyone who I am.”

“Why are you doing this? You have a kingdom,” Elli pressed the end of her cane to Glimmer’s chest, “The only thing you are doing is running away from your responsibilities.”

Glimmer shoved the cane away, “I wasn’t thinking straight! Once I teleported here, I ejected my connection to the Moonstone — which is the only thing that’s kept me alive all these years! That’s why you had to connect me to this,” Glimmer pulled the necklace out from underneath her tunic, “Nana, I don’t even think I can get off this mountain, even if I tried!”

Nana frowned, disturbed by a deep truth. “The day you finally woke up was the day I connected you with the magic of these mountains… So, I believe you are correct — I don’t think there’s a way for you to safely leave here…”

“It’s… fine,” Glimmer looked away, clutching her staff with both her hands and digging her nails into the grain of the wood, “I can keep people away from me up here… I’m a monster. I hurt everyone that I’ve loved… and, besides…” Glimmer could feel tears forming, forcing her to pivot away from Nana, “No one can love me as much as I love them…”

It was silent as the embers died completely. Glimmer could feel the eyes of many villagers from the outskirts of the plaza.

“From the moment I met you, I could sense great sorrow in you... You’ve grown up knowing nothing but war and hatred. Yet, there’s good inside you, and I can see it right now,” Nana walked in front of her, brushing her talons through her long black hair, “Those bandits have terrorized us for years… They killed my son and his husband… You hardly know any of us, yet you risked your life to save us...”

“I…” Glimmer hardly managed to smile, “It’s the least I can do, after everything all of you have done for me. But I can’t stay. I think I need to be alone for now… It’s for the best...”

“Then you’re in the right place… Mystic Mountain is said to heal those who have been broken,” Nana smiled in a bittersweet way, “I would know, my dear.”

There was such a heartbreaking implication from her words. She hardly knew this woman, but she could piece everything together about her life.

Yet, Glimmer felt she didn’t deserve such kindness.

* * *

Nana had told her of an abandoned fur-trapping cabin up on Manticore’s Overlook. The walk was grueling, especially seeing she carried a pack full of resources for her to survive. The cabin was old, coated with a layer of dust several years thick, but it didn’t take too long to spruce up.

It had taken her sometime to learn how to live out in the mountains. Thankfully, the cabin was already full of so many resources, from seeds, to books, and maps. Not to mention, magic made things so much easier. There were spells to set traps for hunting, to purify water, to heal crops of disease — so many mundane things she thought she’d never need in her life.

Summers were easy, pleasant even. Most of the snow would melt away, and many animals would migrate up into the mountains. Berry bushes would fruit, and flowers would bloom. The mountains were beautiful, and full of a spiritual and magical energy she had never even fathomed before.

At the end of the growing season, villagers would often fly up to the cabin and offer their surplus provisions — food, furs, wool, and even alcohol. Even after all those years, they were still indescribably grateful of her.

In return for their kindness, she often scouted the mountains in her owl form. She couldn’t fly beyond the mountain range because of her restricted magic, but it was enough to linger along the trails. Unbeknownst to her, there were already rumors spreading about her around Etheria — about the  _ “Phantom of Mystic Mountain” _ .

It had been a less than a year when her loneliness got the best of her. She’d often visit the village in her owl form, gifting the children crude owl plushies she had crafted. Yet, she felt shy of meeting new people, afraid she would mess up things somehow.

Many days, she spent glued to the few sorcery books in the cabin that talked about how the mountains acted as  _ “a place between the twilight and the dawn” _ . They theorized how there must be a way to get to this _ “other place” _ . It had taken her many attempts, changing her location every time. Yet, she found her best chance was in front of the lake, deep within the mountain range. The maps dubbed it the  _ “Lake of Eternity” _ , and the water was so clear, she felt she could see that  _ “other place” _ . Just through the reflection, she swore she could see something was different and off.

After much trail and error, she finally made it — to the Spirit Realm, as Angella called it. It was strange meeting her father again. And equally strange was the fact she was able to reconnect with her mother after… well,  _ everything _ . But having the chance to visit them whenever she could was the only thing that kept her sane through the years. Neither ever seemed angry with her, and it often made her question if she was simply making this all up.

Many times, Glimmer attempted to leave the mountain on her own. Yet, every single time, she would only grow ill and near incapacitated upon leaving the more magical areas of the mountain. Long ago, she had given up hope of ever finding someone who could help her, and had accepted that it was perhaps for the best that she stayed up there.

Glimmer opened her eyes, effectively stopping her meditation. Before her lied the first spark of hope she had seen in years.

“Hey,” Catra smiled as her ears perked up, “I didn’t want to bother your uh…?”

“Meditation. You should try it sometime,” Glimmer paused, “Hm. It just struck me, I haven’t seen your She-Ra form. You mind?”

Catra felt jittery at the request, “Y-Yeah. I can do that.”

She stood up, drawing her sword up into the air. Without chanting, she began to transform as she was engulfed in a blinding light. Glimmer could feel her pulse racing, unable to look away. Before her stood She-Ra, a woman she was told a thousand times was merely a myth, that she was wasting her time searching for her.

And to think, she was right next to her the whole time.

The light died down, revealing the deity. She had expected herself to be saddened by the sight, however, she was surprised as an uncontrollable smile formed on her lips. Quickly, Glimmer stood, eyeing the deity up and down. Catra could feel her lips contort as Glimmer gawked at her, mouth agape as a surprised gasp escaped.

It surprised her how different her form was compared to Adora’s. Long fur flowed from her jawline, akin to mane. Her drab brown hair was now much longer, and the locks were tipped with a cloudy white. She wore black shoulder armor and pants, both accented with gold, and...

“Cowboy boots...?” Glimmer questioned as she stalked around her.

Catra looked to her side, not finding Glimmer there. In this form, it was easy to lose track of someone Glimmer’s size. She had already circled around her, eyeing her prosthetic. To Catra’s complete shock, the sorceress placed her hand on the arm.

“Oh, your prosthetic stays! That’s—” Glimmer quickly realized her mistake, pulling her hand away as if she had touched fire, “Oh, sorry, I shouldn’t be touching your—”

“Hey, I’m not heartless. It’s just my arm,” Catra reassured.

It was nice to see Glimmer’s once panicked aura ease, returning to her fascinated, curious self. With a hand on her hip, she toyed, “So, no cool chant, huh?”

“You don’t need a chant to turn into She-Ra.”

“I know, but haven’t you heard of a dramatic entrance?” Glimmer walked over to where her staff lied on the ground, picking it up, “Sometimes, it’s enough to scare an enemy away.”

Glimmer was absolutely an expert in the field… but not quite in the way she wanted Catra to work on. Catra could remember seeing the siren in her royal outfit, bare thighs adorned with garters and low-dipping armor that fit well to her form… Needless to say, the few times they had encountered one another after Glimmer’s uprising, it was  _ absolutely  _ a distraction.

“Is that why you used to dress so…?”

Glimmer raised a brow, “Provocative?”

“N-No!” Catra blushed, “Well… yeah.”

“Because I have a nice body, and I’m not afraid to own up to that,” Glimmer twirled a finger in her hair, winking at Catra.

The gesture was enough to make Catra’s heart skip a beat.  _ Yeah _ , every speck of Glimmer’s hubris had remained in her over the years. Something told Catra that Glimmer was likely the least traditional of teachers out there.

“And you’re intimidating. I mean, you’re an eight-foot demigoddess. You just have to own up to it, and—”

Suddenly, a strange grouse emerged from the woods. It was much larger than the normal grouses, proudly holding out its chest as awful burp-like calls loudly echoed through the mountains.

“Oh no,” Glimmer gasped, quickly hiding behind Catra and peeking from behind her, “These guys  _ actually  _ scare me.”

“Wait, so you fought off a manticore, no problem, but this… uh, chicken…?” Catra raised an eyebrow, looking down at the grouse as it boldly approached her, “What‘cha gonna do? Peck me to death?”

It seemed to take the challenge, leaping into the air and gripping onto the fur of Catra’s arm with its sharp beak. Catra attempted to reach for it, but the flurry of its stubby wings allowed it to evade each grab. Panicking, Catra dropped her sword, flailing her arm and grabbing the grouse by its long neck. The grouse bit down on her hand, drawing blood and making her drop it.

“ _ Ouch! _ What the—  _ Ow, fuck! _ ” Once on the ground, it gripped onto her tail, pulling violently. “Hey! Glimmer, help!”

However, Glimmer wouldn’t be helping any time soon. She was far too busy wiping her own tears away, unable to breath over her own hysterical laughter. Catra frowned at the sight, reaching back and managing to kick the damn thing. Finally, it took a hint, angrily stomping back into the woods while still emitting its horrible calls.

Vexed, Catra was ready to lay an onslaught on Glimmer, “Hey, why didn’t you—” 

However, her body eased at the sight and sound of Glimmer happily laughing. It wasn’t just a small, passing chuckle, but rather a laugh that required her whole body. One that forced her onto the ground, curled up in a ball as she snorted and teared up.

“I’m sorry, I—” Glimmer snorted as she looked back up at Catra, “That was so funny! I can’t stop laughing!”

Pushing down her bitterness, Catra let a small chuckle escape. What could she say? Glimmer’s laughter was contagious. Eventually, her laughter broke into a steady laughter, akin to Glimmer’s. 

Just for a moment, it felt like old times.

At some point, Glimmer was able to calm down and composed herself. “Now that’s over, we can start your first real lesson. C’mon.”

* * *

The hike was longer than Catra expected. The landscape mildly changed, the lower they hiked. Fir trees subtly changed to tall, towering bamboo, that formed thickets that were nearly impossible to see through. It was so dense, snow failed to pierce through the canopy at many places. As wind blew through the dense grove, bamboo clanked together, sounding akin to the heavy patter of rain.

It was quiet in the mountains, far different from the loud, bustling noise of Half Moon. Looking ahead at Glimmer, she wondered if she enjoyed life out here to some extent. Sure, she was bound to feel trapped here, but maybe she was used to that feeling. Glimmer had spent most of her life confined by an overbearing mother.

_ The mother she killed, _ Catra reminded herself. It was hard to feel sympathy for Glimmer at times. Withal, after everything the two had been through, Glimmer seemed more than happy to teach her. Of course, Catra had considered the idea Glimmer was merely doing this, so she could help her get off the mountain.

That was the game plan, right? To get her magic strong enough, so she could keep her alive, just long enough to get her to Bright Moon? Then what…? Would she go back to being the “Divine Siren”, or would she truly try to fix what had been broken?

Maybe Catra was looking into things too deep. Besides, what happened the night before seemed so genuine. Glimmer was truly afraid of the world, and rightfully so. Although she had hurt others, she had been hurt as well.

Glimmer seemed to randomly stop. But as Catra paid more attention, she could see they were in a narrow patch where no bamboo grew. There was hardly any snow in the ground, and Catra could see what looked like a spell burnt into the exposed soil. Sparse, brittle grass grew in a few places there.

“Here we are!” Glimmer settled her bag on the ground, stretching out her arms. “If you think that was a long hike, wait till we have to go up the mountain.”

“Ugh, this better be good. What are we doing way out here?” Catra settled her bag next to hers, noting how Glimmer’s was much, much smaller than her own.  _ Go figure. _

“Well…” Glimmer shrugged, “Does anything feel different now?”

“Uh…” Catra grimaces, “I feel tired.”

“Besides that.”

Catra really focused on herself. The only thing she found out of the ordinary was her heart. Its pace was a little too quick, and she felt excited about  _ something _ . At first, she thought it was simply over the idea of finally learning how to control her powers, but something felt off.

“I feel… excited?”

“ _ Ah _ ,” Glimmer’s eyes sparkled, and she grabbed Catra’s hands, “That’s a start! Come on, sit with me.”

Catra found herself looking at their entwined fingers a little too long, noting how cold Glimmer felt. As she fought the fierce blush crossing her cheeks, she sat down in the grass with Glimmer.

“It’s a surge of life that flows through you. Think of it as a second heartbeat. Here…” Glimmer guided Catra’s hand to the soil below, and she pressed it there, “You feel that, right? Close your eyes, take a deep breath with me...”

Following her advice, Catra focused all her energy into the soil below. That familiar but light pick-up of her pulse started. The fur at the end of her tail was standing up on its ends, and she felt the sudden urge to smile. Even there within the cold bamboo forest, Catra felt warm — as if she was next to a fire.

It was like hearing the joyous laughter of her dads, or waking up in the spring to the sight of cactus blooms in Half Moon. Magic was akin to a particular happiness with no name.

“There… You can sense the magic of this mountain now, right?”

Catra narrowed in on the sensation, emptying her mind of her worries or fears. Beneath it all, she could feel a strange, new feeling — one buried somewhere deep and ancient. Somewhere within her very soul, it felt that she had a second heart — one that pulsed with only magic. Beneath her fingertips, it felt that she was touching  _ life  _ itself.

“... It feels like I’m holding a butterfly…”

“Catra… Do you know what you’re feeling?” Glimmer vibrantly beamed.

Mismatched eyes opened, blinking down at the sight below. All around them, yellow and orange flowers had popped out of the ground. Slowly, she looked up at Glimmer, surprised to find her staring back.

“It’s… the source of Etheria’s magic…” Catra smiled, “The Heart of Etheria...?”

“That’s it… You’ve connected to her!” Glimmer beamed back, taking her hands away from Catra’s, “You grew these flowers all by yourself, Catra!”

Excitedly, Catra laughed and her ears perked up. More of the flowers began to pop up around them, as she could feel the energy flowing through her. She had felt this stream of magic before, but she never could quite get a hold of it like she was right then. The energy was raw and exhilarating, more so than anything Catra had ever felt in her life…

As she looked at the woman in front of her, she was reminded she felt something like this once before. 

Glimmer plucked the bloom off of one of the yellow flowers, threading it behind her ear. It was so easy to read Glimmer’s thoughts and see how happy she was to once again share her passion with another soul. It was so hard to take notice to all the flowers growing around them, because something nostalgic had Catra’s attention.

Above the rush provided by the mountain’s magic, that old feeling was returning — that same one she felt all those years ago when they were stupid teenagers, so foolishly in love, thinking the world would revolve around them one day… In a way, the world did end up revolving around them — but not quite in the way either had ever wished.

“These are rudbeckia flowers,” Glimmer said as she plucked another yellow bloom, “I knew I remembered them blooming here last spring… The roots make a lovely tea, especially for when you’re sick.”

“We’re using my powers to make tea?” Catra softly laughed.

“You’re still as impatient as I remembered.”

Glimmer took out a dagger, cutting into the soil and pulling the whole plant out. Catra eyed one of the many orange flowers, which had much broader and fewer petals compared to the rudbeckia. Strangely, it looked exactly like a Half Moon poppy — a flower that grew all over the desert near the town.

“Hey… These are Half Moon poppies. What are they doing way up here?”

Glimmer uprooted another rudbeckia as she spoke, “They bloom all over the mountain in the summer. I think I remember reading something in a textbook back at the cabin about them… You know about Ahyoka, right?”

“Of course I do. Queen Laverne made me learn everything about our history. Ahyoka was the leader of Magicats when Mara was She-Ra. They became friends, and then—”

Glimmer snorted, “I think we have a different definition of ‘friends’. At least, the texts I read said they  _ probably  _ had a thing for each other.”

“Oh, okay, Miss  _ Magicat History Expert _ ,” Catra crossed her legs, stopping the flow of magic around them, “Tell me all that you know.”

“I’m sure you know by now, this mountain is the birthplace of all magic. It’s where the Heart was able to crossover from the Spirit Realm. Once here, she gifted magic and She-Ra to Etheria.”

Catra suddenly felt bad for acting so snarky, “Okay, I’ve actually never heard that.”

“I’m sure you know there were many centuries of peace afterwards…” A solemn tone took over Glimmer, “But then… the First Ones came. They rerouted the She-Ra reincarnation and nearly drained the planet of all its magic.”

“... If it wasn’t for Mara and Ahyoka, we probably wouldn’t be here today,” Catra shivered at the idea. Without magic, there wouldn’t be a She-Ra, and there wouldn’t be a source to keep Glimmer alive.

Glimmer rubbed her arm, “Yeah… They were both so brave. It’s a shame they lost each other…”

Catra could sense a great sadness in Glimmer. In the depths of her heart, she felt Glimmer could relate to the story. Catra still had little clue what happened between Glimmer and Adora. All she knew of their story was that it had a tragic ending, where neither walked away blissful nor of sound mind.

Just thinking about it all bubbled a rage inside her chest. Before it could fester into something horrible, she reminded herself of a stark reality — that she did the same thing Adora did. They both left scars on Glimmer, ones that ran deep and mangled her so.

“I… bring this all up because, um…” Glimmer cleared her throat, composing herself, “I read once that Ahyoka’s resting place is here, high in Mystic Mountain. As she traveled there, she planted these poppies along the way…”

That made sense. Whenever someone passed away in Half Moon, their ashes would be scattered with poppy seeds. Some even thought that they would be reborn as the flower, only to forget their past life.

“Maybe that’s why they mix poppy seeds with the ashes of lost ones in Half Moon,” Catra plucked one of the poppies, “There’s some people that say they’ll be reborn as the flower, but they’ll forget their past life… Still… it’s sad Ahyoka came here to die.”

Catra twirled the poppy by the stem, eyeing it down. As strange as it was to say, she felt a strange connection to it all. In the back of her head lied a very distant, hazy memory—

_ “Aren’t they beautiful? We call these poppies. They’re my favorite flower.” _

Although the memory was hazy and borderline indecipherable, she could fuzzily see and hear Glimmer saying those words. But when had they ever been in a situation like this? Bright Moon’s gardens never had poppies, if she remembered correctly. Suddenly, her head hurt, feeling like it would burst open. She rubbed at her forehead, groaning as she did.

“Are you alright?” Glimmer immediately fretted, scooting closer to her.

“I’ll be fine,” Catra feebly smiled, “It’s just… a magical migraine, I guess.”

Glimmer laughed, “That’s not a thing… Maybe you’re not used to the cold. I can make you tea when we get back to the cabin.”

“That’d be great…” Catra paused, thinking things over. “Not saying right now, but at some point, could you take me to Ahyoka’s resting place?”

“It’s a long, grueling hike. I’ve personally never been there myself, but I’ve seen it on the maps,” Glimmer mindlessly pulled at the leaves of the uprooted rudbeckia, still seeming a bit down, “It’s about a two-day hike, and a lot of Manticores hang out around there…” 

“Oh…” Catra wrapped her tail around her body, “That’s fine. We don’t really need to go there.”

It was silent for a moment, until Glimmer stopped plucking the leaves from the flower and looked up at Catra. She scoffed quietly, smiling at her.

“You really want to go, huh?”

“Please,” Catra nearly begged.

“Hm… How about we train for a week or two,  _ then  _ I can take you there?”

_ Two weeks? _ Catra had already been gone several days. She pulled out her Commpad, noticing it still wasn’t getting a signal. No doubt, Bow and her dads were already getting worried. But after only a few minutes of coaching, Catra already felt control of magic. If Glimmer was able to do that much in a short amount of time, there’s no telling how good she’d be after two weeks.

“Sounds like a plan.”


	5. We Cannot Escape the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone. I’ve had a very tough past two weeks. I’ll be honest, my mental health is probably at the worst it’s ever been in my life. But, I’m currently seeking help. I’ve been quiet on social media, but don’t worry. I’ll be fine.
> 
> Writing helps me. It helps me escape, it helps me write about my own issues through characters. Seeing people touched by my stories just helps. Despite everything, I’ve managed to write this chapter… And like, half of the next one. This one is on the shorter and lighter end… But the next one…? ;-) That’s for you to find out.
> 
> It helps if you leave a comment. Anything, even if you just wanna point out one thing you liked. It helps me out. I love and appreciate all of you, even the silent readers.
> 
> Content warning:  
> \- Sexual themes (making out, sex is implied a lot through the chapter)  
> \- Vague gender dysphoria from Catra  
> \- Violence (bones broken, a lot of blood, skin getting torn, general graphic depictions)

The past week had been grueling in terms of training, with Glimmer regularly hiking them out miles from the cabin and teaching her something new every single day. One day was spent back in the bamboo grove, honing in on her magical slash attack. Afterwards, Glimmer made Catra haul much of the cut-down bamboo — something she learned wasn’t related to her training, and merely Glimmer getting her to do chores.

Another day was spent doing something far more relaxing — meditation. Although to Glimmer’s disappointment, Catra had fallen asleep during it. The next was spent honing in on She-Ra’s connection to the planet, learning about how everything and everyone on Etheria was connected somehow. The feeling of life was so noticeable now, even within the trees and small birds all around them.

The days would often end with the two returning to the cabin, brushing through the many historical texts there. Neither were able to find anything they didn’t know already, it seemed, but it was worth the time to brush up on things. As the days went by, Catra felt her connection growing stronger. She had a better grasp on exactly what magic was, and what it felt like. There was even a day when she managed to grow flowers all on her own.

Glimmer was an extraordinary teacher. In spite of her young age, Glimmer was wise, as her knowledge of magic and Etheria seemed endless. There was never a question that she couldn’t answer, it seemed. Catra had grown jealous of the connection Glimmer had to Etheria, and it was something that motivated her beyond belief.

One particular morning was cloudy, suggested by how dull the light peeking through the windows was. Catra kicked the covers off, sitting up on the edge of the bed. Glimmer kneeled before the fireplace. Withal, something felt  _ off  _ as she looked over at Catra. Nervously, a finger slowly twirled in her hair, and Catra noticed how the black locks perfectly captured the light of the flames before her.

One would think she was trying her absolute best to look beautiful — and she really did look like a wondrous apparition from a dream. The light creak of Glimmer’s body was drowned out by the crackling flames as she stood up, her sight dead set on Catra.

“Glimmer…?” Catra frowned, “Is something wrong…?”

“Catra…” Glimmer mused, walking over to her.

Catra felt paralyzed. Glimmer’s gaze was one of passion, becoming more and more readable the closer she strode. Suddenly, Catra’s throat felt insatiably dry as Glimmer straddled her lap. The pace of the Magicat’s heart was fast and strong enough to shake her entire chest, as if it was threatening to burst from there. Soft hands explored her hair, and Glimmer bit her own, plump lip.

It felt like gravity was pulling them towards each other. Explosives were sparking off around them, and something felt so right about it. In despite of everything, it felt like it was meant to be. It was like a live wire — exhilarating, electrifying, but something felt off about it all.

_ Fuck it. _ Catra clutched the back of her head, murmuring as the kiss grew more fiery. The slight roll of Glimmer’s body was making her head spin in such unimaginable ways. Blunt nails brushed down Catra’s arm, sending shivers through her entire body and making her fur stand up.

She had only the first taste of this, and she already wanted more.

Carefully, she bit Glimmer’s bottom lip, savoring the small whimper that escaped her. To her slight disappointment, Glimmer pulled away, seemingly to catch her breath. Her hand moved to her shoulder, squeezing a little too tightly.

“Catra…” Glimmer whispered, “Hey, it’s time to wake up.”

Immediately, sense was knocked into Catra. As soon as her eyes were open, she shot up from where she lied on the bed. Glimmer was standing there at her side, looking on with pure shock and worry. Catra was gasping for breath, her eyes appearing they’d burst from her skull.

“Catra?!” Glimmer fretted, rubbing the Magicat’s shoulder, “What’s wrong?! You look so red!”

“N-Nothing,” Catra lied, “Just a  _ weird  _ dream! Hey, I think I’m going to go out for a, um, a-uh, shit what’s it called — a morning jog, yeah!” Catra spluttered, her words slurring together and being borderline indecipherable.

Glimmer watched, bewildered as Catra shot up from the bed, not even bothering to put on a warmer set of clothing beyond her poncho. She felt powerless, not wishing to prod her more about the dream.

“Will you be okay…?”

“Oh,  _ psh _ ,” Catra nervously laughed, “Don’t worry about me  _ whatsoever _ , I’ll be back!” 

She attempted to reach out for the doorknob. Yet, she looked down, noticing her prosthetic was missing. Truly, her brain was fried beyond recognition.

“Hey… Forgetting something?” Glimmer called out.

Sure enough, her prosthetic was still lying on the tea table near the bed. Nervously, she laughed, feeling sweat bead down the side of her head.

“Right, right… I kind of need that,” Catra dryly gulped and snatched her prosthetic, “T-Thanks!”

She didn’t even stay inside to put it on, taking it with her as she walked out.

* * *

__ _ What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck— _

Catra felt like she could run a mile, or possibly ten miles. Maybe it was unwise to run towards Manticore’s Outlook, especially seeing she had also forgotten her sword. But all she knew is she needed to place herself as far away as possible from Glimmer for the moment, as she attempted to calm herself down.

She felt weird. Really, goddamn weird. It had taken her a fraction of a second to scale a tall fir tree, and she still felt like she had enough energy to jump across the entire mountain range. She normally only got like this when she was excited. Her heart was pulsing like it never had before, as she attempted to sort out the many,  _ many  _ emotions in her head.

She sank into the dense branches of the fir, not caring that the prickly leaves were prodding every inch of her. With a hand on her head, she let out a loud groan.

“C’mon, Catra,” She scolded herself, “You’re not catching feelings. No, no, no… I can’t do this to myself! She… she hurt me, and Bow, and… And Angella… She hurt a lot of people…”

_ But she’s sorry — truly, she’s sorry. Glimmer is a genuinely changed woman. She’s far more mature and responsible now, and she actively wants to atone for her actions. _

Catra growled at her inner turmoil, “I know! She is, but… Ugh, fuck! Why does this have to be so—”

_ Bzzzz! Bzzzz! _

“Who’s sending me messages right now?!” Catra audibly groaned, before quickly realizing, “Shit—”

Immediately, her ears perked up, and she excitedly reached into the inner pocket of her poncho. Wide eyes looked excitedly down, as she realized her Commpad had a signal. Quickly, she shuffled around the menu, finding Bow’s contact information, not even thinking things through—

“Wait…” Catra murmured as the Commpad rang Bow, “What am I supposed to tell—”

“Catra?! Ca—” Bow’s feed was choppy, “Is that really y—”

“Yes! Hey, Bow!” Catra excitedly greeted, holding the Commpad up further in an attempt to get a better signal.

“Are you okay?! I’ve been trying to reach you the past week!” Finally, it seemed their connection was stable, although it was too weak for the video to work properly.

“Y-Yeah, it’s uh…” Catra gulped, thinking things through, “Great! I’ve been… you know… learning about magic, and stuff.”

“Really!? Did you find Light Hope — or, what happened?!”

Was it really the best idea to be honest with him? The situation was so difficult to deal with, let alone explain. Bow wasn’t the kind to hold grudges, and he never seemed as bitter as her over everything that had happened. At least, he wasn’t vocal about his grievances with the former queen.

“Catra? Hello?”

She flinched, realizing she was spacing out, “Oh, sorry, guess the signal got wonky… I um… was just saying, I found a teacher, and I’m like, actually learning things!”

“Oh! That’s wonderful! Well, I guess I can tell Laverne to call off that search party for you!” Bow nervously laughed.

Catra dryly gulped at the idea of the Rebellion finding her colluding with the very reason there was a war brewing below the mountains.

“Oh, stars, don’t do that please. I’ll be fine. I’ll try um, calling you again later. I need to go back to G—” Catra choked, “ _ T-The sorceress! _ We have a lot of training to do,  _ haha! _ ”

“Well…. Good talk…? Love you, I guess?”

Catra could  _ hear  _ him lifting a brow at her.

“Love you too, bye!” Catra slurred her words, quickly hanging up and pressing the Commpad to her chest. The next time she called, she would put more than a millisecond of thought into it.

* * *

Another few days had passed. Although her body was sore, Catra could feel her connection to Etheria and She-Ra grow even stronger day by day. That particular day, it was clear and warmer than usual. Wherever they were going, it was somewhere new and within a rocky valley.

Past a thicket of dormant, deciduous trees, Catra could see steam rising from the ground and could hear water flowing. The closer they walked to the area, the warmer it felt. Upon walking out into the open, Catra was met with the sight of a hot spring. The area surrounding the spring was mostly free of snow, and the bubbling water looked tempting to jump into.

Catra’s ears perked up to the sound of Glimmer settling her things, “What are we…? O-Oh… Okay, then...”

Suddenly, she forgot words as she looked over at Glimmer. In the back of her mind, Catra had long clicked together why they were there and why Glimmer was currently removing her clothes in a mundane manner. Yet, something else had a tight grip of the control of her gaze and conscious.

"You've been so good with your training, I figured you deserved a reward," Glimmer spoke without an ounce of suggestiveness.

Catra’s entire body was taking on a red hue, and immobilized on the spot. Her throat felt somehow even drier than it did in the dream she had the other day, as she found herself thinking about how cute her small wings looked. They had hardly grown since Catra last saw them, maybe being the size of her hand.

Everything about the former queen’s plush body was absolutely perfect in Catra’s eyes, and it was growing harder by the moment to look away. Suddenly, Glimmer spun around, eyeing down Catra and noticing that she hadn’t even settled her bag down yet.

"Um… I—”

As soon as Glimmer’s held in laughter spluttered out, Catra knew she had fucked up. Immediately, her body felt that it was shrinking. She had a grand desire to find a hole to curl up in, so she could simply waste away. 

Glimmer held onto her stomach, which ached from her laughter, “Did you really think I was asking if you wanted to fu—”

_ "No!”  _ Catra barked, a little too loudly and aggressively, “Why would I think that? Where would we even do that here — on a rock?!”

With an audible deep sigh, Glimmer calmed herself down. Her hysterics were replaced by an impish aura as she smirked. Again, she pivoted around, flipping her hair in a coy fashion. Her following murmur was barely audible, "I mean, if you prefer that...”

Catra blinked. "... What?”

" _ Mm… _ Don’t worry about it,” Glimmer twisted her head around just enough for Catra to see her wink.

Catra wanted to say something, but failed to find any words. As Glimmer began to remove her pants, Catra jerked her head away. Stiffly, she began to remove her own clothes, suddenly feeling very self-conscious.

Catra wasn’t entirely sure why she felt that way, considering they had both seen each other bare in a far different context before. The thought made Catra blush more, especially considering how much Glimmer’s body had matured over the years.

Perhaps she wasn’t crazy — she was sure there was a spark flying between them again. This time around, it was a dangerous game, where someone was bound to end up hurt. Catra knew it was wrong to feel attraction towards Glimmer, but right then, she just chopped it up to pent-up loneliness.

Glimmer had been her first and really, her only girlfriend. Many times after, she tried to connect with different women — Scorpia, Mermista, and many,  _ many  _ women from Half Moon. Most of it ended in awkward dates or forgettable one-night stands. In spite of everything, Catra could feel a connection to Glimmer again. It felt nothing like it did back when they were stupid teenagers — innocent, ambitious, and  _ simple _ .

Now, the latter was quite the opposite, as their connection was anything but simple. What Catra was feeling was borderline indefinable — a complex mess of so many emotions. She drifted into these thoughts as she removed the last of her clothes, being bare down to her bindings and boxers. Mindful of how hot the water was, she removed her prosthetic.

From afar, Glimmer wrapped her hair into a neat bun. Curiously, she gazed over at Catra. Her physique had changed considerably over the years. Although she was far more muscular than she was in her youth, she had more of a defined curve to her body now. Brown stripes lined her back, a small detail Glimmer almost forgot.

For a moment, her heart sank as she looked at her rib cage. There, she could see a gnarled scar, one so bad that her fur failed to grow there. Catra’s tail flicked as she could feel Glimmer staring a hole into her side. Quietly, she sighed as she turned to face Glimmer. Catra nearly gasped as she finally noticed it — a horrible, gnarled scar near the bottom of Glimmer’s stomach. Whatever happened, it must’ve been a terrible wound—

Her mind worked faster than it ever had before, clicking it all together within an instant. As soon as she realized it was the scar Adora left, her eyes shifted upwards. Oddly, Glimmer was looking back at her with a sense of curiosity.

Catra tensed as she realized what caused that curiosity. She hardly even thought about the fact that she started taking hormones sometime before they started dating. Glimmer smiled, appearing uncharacteristically timid as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“You look really beautiful, Catra,” Glimmer complemented as her eyes flickered up and down her body.

Catra flinched. The compliment felt so out of nowhere, yet so welcomed at the same time. Sure, she heard it from time to time, especially from her dads. Yet, the way Glimmer said it sounded so real and genuine. Something about it coming from her specifically had always been affirming, and hearing it again for the first time in  _ years  _ was pulling at her heartstrings.

“Um…” Catra tried her best to choke back her tears, “T-Thank you.”

Almost instantly, Glimmer’s brows furrowed, and she shifted closer, “Hey… Are you crying?”

“I…” Catra could feel her lips wobbling, “S-Sorry…”

Catra was tempted to turn away. Softly, Glimmer touched her arm. Blunt nails brushed down Catra’s arm, briefly reminding her of the mildly concerning dream she had a few days prior.

“What are you apologizing about?” Glimmer offered a smile as Catra blinked away her tears, “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“It’s just…” Catra sighed, “I wasn’t expecting that, I guess...”

“Well, I meant it, okay?” Glimmer slipped her hand down, entwining her fingers with Catra’s, “Let’s go in the water. Maybe that will help.”

Silently, Catra nodded, letting Glimmer pull her along. Although the lack of her prosthetic threw her balance off, Glimmer’s hold on her helped her tread through the slippery rocks. Carefully, Glimmer dipped a foot into the bubbling water, and Catra followed. The scalding temperature was enough to make her flinch, but she eventually adjusted to it.

Eventually, they were far in enough that the water was up to their chests. After a content sigh, Glimmer smiled at her.

“Better?”

Maybe the heat was messing with her nerves, but she swore she could feel Glimmer’s thumb brushing over her fingers. The water had already become soothing and pleasant, encouraging Catra to smile back.

“Yeah…” Catra’s stare bounced away as she sniffled, “Sorry about—”

“No, take that back,” Glimmer pouted her lips and glared, “You’re  _ not  _ sorry.”

Catra grimaced, “Um… okay? I’m not sorry, I guess?”

“There… You can relax now. You don’t have to be scared about that sort of stuff around me, okay?”

She was right. She was always so supportive of Catra. Whenever she came out, she was so quick to use the right pronouns and such. Back then, Glimmer’s air of femininity was something so alluring and foreign, something she once thought she was jealous of. As it turned out, it was something she simply admired and was drawn to.

Now, her femininity changed, but it was still something so beautiful and radiant. Her hands weren’t as soft as Catra remembered, but still reassuring. Maybe that was why it took Catra such a long time to let go of Glimmer, even after everything she had done. She couldn’t help but see the smallest glimpse of hope, one that would be tested over and over again throughout the years.

Catra learned it was hard letting go of people, even those who’ve wronged you. Your heart still holds on to the happiest memories you have with them, and all the wonderful things they’ve done for you. Glimmer, in particular, was damn near impossible to let go of. Being around her so much the past two weeks reminded Catra of what she had dearly missed.

When Glimmer finally let go of Catra’s hand beneath the water, she found herself immediately missing it. Glimmer tread her hands through the water, relaxing a little more and letting her body go limp.

“You don’t get to relax much, huh?” Glimmer’s brow perked.

Catra laughed, “How could you tell?”

“I’m starting to think it’s the reason why you haven’t been able to connect to She-Ra that well.”

Catra cocked her head, “... Really?”

Glimmer nodded, “It’s hard to use magic when you’re distracted and stressed about… everything. Take it from me.”

Catra felt a bit uneven as she tried to float in the water, but was eventually able to sink more into the steaming bliss. For a moment, Glimmer appeared so content, that Catra could’ve sworn she was nodding off. Nervously, Catra went over what Glimmer said in her head, timid to prod anymore but her curiosity getting the better of her.

“How are you able to do it?” Catra felt like she was stepping across a boundary with her question.

Glimmer took on a somber expression, “Magic has always been a high for me, I guess. I get so excited when I’m using it. I’m able to just… forget everything for a moment. That method isn’t for everyone, I know...”

“Oh…” Catra paused, knowing it wasn’t wise to ask, “Um… If you don’t mind me asking… How was Adora able to do it?”

Glimmer tensed up at the mention of Adora, and Catra suddenly regretted even saying her name. Catra shifted up somewhat from her more relaxed position, and she could see the hurt in her eyes. With every mention of Adora, Catra was more and more curious as to what exactly happened that night.

“She... wasn’t able to,” Glimmer was unable to look Catra in the eye, her voice quiet and monotone, “While we researched She-Ra, Entrapta and I figured out that she wasn’t at her fullest potential… Can’t blame her… especially knowing everything she had been through… I regret never telling her that, but I thought it’d just, stress her out more… I never figured out what exactly would help her reach that potential… Sometimes, I think maybe that could’ve helped her go back home, somehow...”

That wasn’t the answer she hoped for. The vagabond reeked of an unavoidable despair — one that Catra had now grown to empathize with. Losing loved ones could change your life, but losing them suddenly was down right cruel. Neither were ever allowed to process their pain, instead thrown into battle after battle, hoping to feel something along the way.

It seemed Glimmer was growing more comfortable talking about Adora. They had progressed from the panic attack that Glimmer spiraled into upon hearing Adora’s name for the first time in years. Maybe, one day, Catra could warm her up into telling her what happened, and maybe that could help her understand her hurt better.

But digging at their old wounds wasn’t the point of their outing. Although Catra wanted to know more about She-Ra’s potential, she felt more concerned for Glimmer’s well-being.

“Let’s talk about something else, okay?” Catra offered a smile.

Glimmer feebly smiled back, “Oh, thank you… Um…” Glimmer cleared her throat, looking back up at Catra, “So, I… I was thinking… Today, we can just relax. Tomorrow, we can go to Ahyoka’s resting place.”

Catra’s ears perked up at the offer. For one reason or another, the idea of visiting Ahyoka’s resting place kept circling in her mind. Perhaps it was her wishing to see an important part of her own culture in person. Or, maybe the hopeful part of her hoped to find answers to something there.

“Like I said, it’s a long, grueling hike. That part of the mountain is pretty barren, so we’ll be an easier target for the Manticores.”

“Manticore _ -s?  _ There’s more than one?”

Glimmer nodded, “Yes, and that’s where they nest, too.”

“Oh, shit.”

“Yeah. We’ll need to be extremely careful, okay? Between the two of us, I think we can handle it… Or at least, I can,” Glimmer winked.

Catra huffed, tapping her foot against her beneath the water, “Shut up.”   
Glimmer laughed, kicking her back, “Sorry, I’m not the one that got stung.”

“Still humble, I see.”

Their laughter eventually died out, as both relaxed and floated in the bubbling water. After Glimmer closed her eyes, Catra took the chance to rudely stare at her scar again, as it was visible through the clear water.

Even through the distortion of the water, Catra could tell it was a stab wound. An anger so fierce boiled at the sight, yet she chose to let it die out. There was no use being angry at someone who was in a different dimension now. Besides, it was hypocritical of her to feel anger for such a thing, especially considering her own scar lied prevalent on Glimmer’s neck.

There was no use focusing on those thoughts. Rather, she wanted to focus on the time she was spending with her _ friend. _

She questioned her thoughts for a moment. Could you be friends with someone that had wronged you, even if you haven’t forgiven them for what they had done to you and others? Glimmer was once fierce and power hungry. But after all the time they had spent together, Catra could never see that side of her ever coming back. 

Maybe she hadn’t fully forgiven Glimmer, but she trusted her.

“Hey… How’s Bow doing?” Glimmer’s voice jolted Catra from her thoughts.

Neither sat up from their floating positions. Catra sighed at the question, wondering how to answer it. There was no doubt that Glimmer wasn’t in the best state mentally, as Catra’s arrival back into her life had been a nerve-racking whirlwind. However, she was opening up more and more every day, becoming more like the Glimmer she knew before the whole Divine Siren thing.

Perhaps it wasn’t wise to tell her of Bow’s health. Yet, one day soon, they would have to leave the mountain, and Glimmer would have to face all the consequences of her wrongdoings.

“I’ll be honest… Bow’s been having a difficult time lately,” Catra frowned, “Well, after you electrocuted him, he started having heart issues. It got awful a couple of years ago. He doesn’t really go on missions anymore, because it’s so straining on his heart… I want to learn how to heal, and maybe I’ll be able to help him out.”

Catra could hear her Glimmer shuffling in the water. Lavender eyes bore into her as she shifted back up. There was so much regret in her eyes, almost an exact picture of the Glimmer she saw when they reunited. She appeared ashamed, feeling unworthy of looking Catra in the eye.

“I want to get off this mountain so I can tell Bow himself how sorry I am… He’s so lucky to have you. You’re such a good sister,” Glimmer smiled, “The fact you want to learn magic for him is so kind. You’ve really come a long way, Catra.”

A tinge of guilt struck Catra, as she remembered the brief Commpad call. It was wrong to keep such things from Glimmer, but she didn’t want things getting more complicated than they already were. Yet, Catra was able to hide her emotions under a warm smile. Catra clasped Glimmer’s arm, noticing how she flinched at the touch.

“We both have.”

Glimmer smiled back. To the upmost degree, they were proud of each other.

* * *

Glimmer was absolutely right.

The part of the mountain before them was steep and almost completely barren. There were a few patches of grass and the occasional strip of fir trees, but beyond that, the terrain was inhospitable for most life. The further they hiked, the quieter the birdsong became.

Even though it was early in the morning when they arrived at the base of the mountain slope, it took well into the afternoon for them to make progress. The path was severely neglected, no doubt due to how treacherous it was. At one part, the path was a sharp incline that they had no choice but to climb.

To Catra’s shock, Glimmer still wasn’t the greatest at climbing. It wasn’t really necessary for her to do out here, as she had no need to tread into the more rocky, hard to scale areas of the range. It reminded Catra of when they were young, and she would get stuck in trees on purpose to test Glimmer’s teleportation powers. From a top of a cliff, Catra watched Glimmer struggle to scale the terrain.

“Need a hand, princess?”

Glimmer looked up, seeing Catra holding out her hand. Fuck, did she miss being able to teleport. For a moment, she doubted Catra’s ability to lift her up. After all, she was still farther down, their grip just barely being within reach, and not to mention, the heavy backpack she carried with her.

It was humbling to accept the offer. To her complete shock, Catra proceeded to lift her with incredible ease, not even appearing to break a sweat. It was enough to force a blush across Glimmer’s face, one that only worsened as Catra pulled her over the edge, helping her to her feet. Both stood incredibly close, and still, their hands were tightly locked together.

“Don’t be afraid to ask for help,” Catra cockily smiled, “I don’t bite.”

Was Catra flirting with her…? Obviously, it had been so long since she had an interaction like this. The blood rushing to her cheeks was telling,  _ yes, yes she was _ . Before she could scramble for a comeback, Catra let go, walking forward and expecting Glimmer to do the same. There was a slight pep in Catra’s step, which only fueled Glimmer’s thoughts further.

The flirtation seemed sudden, but Glimmer didn’t hate it. Glimmer had complicated feelings for Catra. The former queen had  _ been  _ with plenty of people, but had only allowed herself to truly catch feelings twice in her life. Catra was the first person she loved in that way, and their fallout destroyed Glimmer’s trust in people — and it didn’t return until she met Adora.

Fate had a cruel sense of humor. The person to teach her how to trust and love again was the same person who took that from her. Although, Glimmer couldn’t blame Adora or Catra for what they did.

After all, Glimmer still felt she deserved what happened to her.

In the same sense, she didn’t feel she deserved Catra. After everything, Catra was willing to talk to her and even help her through her situation. But over the past two weeks, something was blossoming between the two, and its roots were piercing straight through the cold depths of Glimmer’s heart. It was starting to feel like they were friends again, but it was different from their previous relationship.

The two were grown up now, heavy with the burden of a cruel life. Despite all their pain, they managed to make each other smile. It helped Glimmer forget everything, and even if it was just for a little while, she still appreciated it.

Catra was like the sun after a long winter. After such a long time, she was back in Glimmer’s life. So warm and beautiful, and so unaware of the wonders she was capable of. She was often intense, but that only drew Glimmer in more.

Withal, she was afraid of getting to close to her, in fear of getting hurt all over again.

“You okay?”

Glimmer jolted, noticing how far behind she was. Catra’s tone was genuine, lacking of her usual cynical or playful tone. Glimmer dug her nails into the straps of her bag.

“Yeah, sorry.”

* * *

The further up the path they went, the signs of Manticore’s grew more prevalent. Many of the scattered trees had claw marks on their trunks. This far up, there were no animals that would scavenge on the bones of the Manticore’s prey. As a consequence, various bones — often with flesh still on them — could be found within the crevices of the rock below, many crushed and cracked beyond recognition.

Catra stopped in her tracks, as she saw what appeared to be the skull of a harpy. Her ambition and apprehension drove her forward, and she kept quiet about the sight. The further they went, the more horrible it smelt — enough to make Catra gag and wrinkle her nose. Both were somewhat aware of the mistake they made going up here, yet their stubbornness drove them to finish what they started.

By the time day was reaching its end, they were high up into the mountains. The setting of the sun was beautiful over the horizon, with peachy orange peaking through the trees and over the mountain tops. Yet, neither had much time to appreciate such a sight.

The path flattened out, although the strip before them was narrow and almost completely bare of trees. Suddenly, a shiver ran down Catra’s spine, and she stopped in place. Something felt terribly wrong, but Catra couldn’t put a finger on it. However, Glimmer remained oblivious, settling her bag down and looking at the map.

“There should be a creek up ahead, then that’s the last water source until the peak. We should stop there for the night.”

Catra hardly processed a word she said. Instead, she focused on a faint noise. There were hardly any sounds this far up, beyond the gale of the wind and the hushed flow of the trees. Withal, this noise wasn’t like anything she had heard that day. It was quiet yet powerful, and virtually undetectable to Glimmer.

A gut-feeling told Catra to look up. Upon doing so, she could see a thick fog above. Something was shifting within the haze, encouraging her to immediately draw her sword.

“Watch out, Glimmer!”

Glimmer blinked over at Catra, but didn’t have time to understand what was going on. In an instant, Catra morphed into She-Ra, practically tackling Glimmer to the ground afterwards. Although her hand wrapped around the back of Glimmer’s head to cushion it from the fall, the movement was still surprising. Before Glimmer could scold her, she looked up, seeing exactly what Catra was protecting her from.

With absolute precision, Catra pivoted her torso, turning her sword to the sky — just as a Manticore attempted to pounce upon both of them. The sword slashed the creature’s nose, making it growl in pain and cower back onto the ground. As it plopped down, it violently flailed its wings, kicking up a flurry of snow.

“Glimmer, run!” Catra demanded, pulling them both up onto their feet.

Quickly, Glimmer bent down, grabbing her staff before placing some distance between herself and the fight. The manticore lunged at Catra, yet she delivered a swift, powerful slash of her sword across its jaw. As it recoiled, she powerfully stomped down, digging the spur of her boot into its face. She prepared to land a final strike down upon its head, but felt a sudden shiver down her spine once more.

“Catra!”

From where they were walking moments before, another Manticore was charging at Catra. Holding onto her staff, Glimmer festered all the power she could, pushing it out with a strong bolt of lightning. The electricity flowed within inches of Catra, close enough to make her fur stand up. It ultimately reached the target, knocking it back with a great force.

While Catra was distracted, the other Manticore began to rouse. It flailed its tail, whacking Catra and knocking her off her feet. The spur pulled out of the Manticore, revealing that Catra had narrowly missed its eye. Blood oozed from its forehead, yet it remained ambitious. Catra panicked, releasing it was aiming its venomous stringer right for her.

Yet, a shield formed around Catra. The stinger bounced off of it, and the Manticore was quick to claw frantically at it. Catra looked over, seeing Glimmer holding her hand out. The two nodded at one another, as Catra morphed her sword into a whip.

“Now, Catra!” 

As soon as the shield died out, Catra thrashed the whip forward. It cracked against the Manticore’s head, but didn’t make it back entirely away. She continued lashing the whip, attempting to corner the Manticore. As she did this, Glimmer could see the other Manticore rousing, smoke still rising for the burnt fur on its chest.

The Manticore Catra had cornered finally broke through the lashings, managing to swipe its paw forward. Catra shrieked as the claws dug into her arm, unaware of the danger lurking behind her.

Already, Glimmer felt tired from the hike and the amount of magic she had used. She wished to use her astral projection, but there wasn’t anywhere for her to sit and hide. Projectile spells were exhausting, yet it was her best choice. Close combat simply wasn’t an option for her.

But seeing Catra in danger was enough to make her summon black ribbons. They shot out, wrapping around the Manticore that was currently attacking Catra. She could feel her entire body straining as the Manticore pushed and pulled against the restraints.

“Behind you, Catra!”

Catra pivoted towards the other Manticore, lashing her whip across it. Once it had backed away enough, she morphed her sword into a tomahawk. As she paused to do so, the Manticore lunged towards her — yet she used this to her advantage, striking down on its head. The tomahawk’s thicker blade did far more damage than her sword as it pierced through the Manticore’s thick skull, making it roar out in pain.

More and more, Glimmer was losing energy — and quick. The Manticore was proving too strong for the magical restraints. She had attempted to wrap the ribbons around its throat, but the beast wouldn’t go down without a fight. Suddenly, Glimmer’s arm gave out, and her entire body went limp. She fell onto her back, making sure to keep her grip strong on her staff.

Despite having almost no energy left, Glimmer started to prepare another spell— one intended to disorient the Manticore. However, the Manticore was charging at her, seconds away from ending her life. Sweat beaded down the side, but she just needed one more second—

It was too late. The Manticore pushed its paw into her chest, strongly pinning her into the snow. Claws swiped down her chest, tearing into her skin.

“C-Catra!” Glimmer screamed.

Glimmer felt a genuine fear, one that her life would end at that very moment. The Manticore opened its massive jaw, exposing fearsome teeth. The scream she let out was bloodcurdling, but the Manticore showed no mercy. 

“Stay away from her!” Catra boomed.

Suddenly, the Manticore was being  _ dragged  _ away. It tried to dig its claws into the ground beside Glimmer, but the attempt failed. Behind the Manticore stood She-Ra, her eyes were full of a ferociousness Glimmer had never seen in her life. Catra was snarling, sounding virtually inextinguishable compared to the Manticore.

With a swipe of her sword, she cut through the tail with ease, resulting in the Manticore writhing and kicking snow atop of Glimmer. Catra roared, grabbing it by the tuff of its neck. Amazingly, Catra had morphed the sword into a weapon she had never seen — a metal glove with three, massive claw-like appendages at the knuckles.

With ease, she slashed the Manticore’s shoulder, and it snarled in pain. It tried to swipe a paw down on Catra, but she caught it with her hand. A crackle of bones echoed in the air, and the Manticore let out a distressed, horrible noise.

With a now broken paw, it cowered away from Catra while snarling. Catra stood tall, pupils narrowed and eyes wide as she snarled back. Feeling it was no match against Catra, it quickly took off into the sky, initially stumbling on the takeoff. Catra bravely stood her ground, her eyes never leaving it until it had fallen into the trees far away — too tired to fly anymore. 

Hesitantly, Glimmer sat up while she clutched onto her chest. She could see the other Manticore not too far away, limp and with blood spilling from its head wound. However, something else caught her attention as she felt something wet.

Fear had already prepped her for the sight below — blood,  _ so much blood _ covered her chest and was already seeping into her tunic. She had already felt lightheaded from all the magic she used, so seeing her chest practically ripped open didn’t help whatsoever.

“C-C… Catra…?” Glimmer called out through tired panting.

Instantly, Catra could feel the brutal haze of her mind fade into near nothingness at the sound of Glimmer’s voice. Quickly, she pivoted around, and Glimmer could see the craze of her eyes for a split second before worry took over her. Both flinched at the sight of each other, wounded and covered in blood.

However, Glimmer had absolutely received the worst of it. She struggled with every heavy, wet breath she took. Already, she looked pale and disoriented.

“Glimmer!” Catra fretted, quickly bending to her side.

Glimmer watched, shocked as the claw-like weapon simply disappeared. Catra had the ability to morph the sword, but Glimmer was  _ certain  _ she had never summoned it at will before. Before she could comment on the sudden ability gain, Catra cupped the back of Glimmer’s head with her massive hand. Silently, she placed her forehead against Glimmer’s.

Light encompassed both of them, as a flow of ethereal magic entered Glimmer body. Immediately, she recognized such a thing, as Adora had done this to her once before. Yet, Glimmer grew more confused, as Catra had told her the day prior that she didn’t know how to heal.

Glimmer could feel the tepid pulse below die, and her skin callus over. The dizziness of her head faded into a barely noticeable throb. After the light of the healing magic died down, Glimmer felt most of her exhaustion fade. Catra pulled away, looking down at the spot that had been torn into.

There was hardly a trace of the wound beyond the copious amount of blood that stained her clothing. Glimmer glanced at Catra’s arm, noticing that the spot the Manticore had clawed into was completely healed over as well.

“You… Catra…?” Glimmer was almost too bewildered to speak, “You just healed me…?! How did you—”

“I don’t know, I don’t really care right now,” Catra scowled. Yet, the way Glimmer looked at her filled her with a sense of guilt. Catra sighed, “Sorry…”

“It’s okay… I’m just…” Glimmer was still shaken from everything, not really knowing what to say, “Um… Thank you, Catra.”

Briefly, Catra smiled. Ultimately, worry settled back in. Glimmer blushed as Catra reached out, wrapping her arms around Glimmer. With immense ease, Catra hoisted Glimmer into her comforting embrace and stood up.

“You look like you’re about to pass out. We need to get you to safety before something else smells your blood.”

“Oh… Okay…” 

Glimmer looked up, noticing the blank look on her face. The two remained silent as Glimmer sank into Catra’s embrace, managing to relax her once tense, tired body. Glimmer was confused, but felt too tired to question Catra right then.

Or, perhaps, Glimmer was simply enjoying being in her arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on my socials, I will upload my art there soon!
> 
> \- [Art Twitter](https://twitter.com/ButchOsprey)  
> \- [Tumblr](https://etherianfrigatebird.tumblr.com/)


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